Do you feel that your relationship is spiraling downwards? It is really tricky to find out what is wrong with your relationship. Sometimes there might be multiple issues that overlap. But often there are some common categories that these issues fall in primarily. People self-sabotage their relationship due to simple mistakes they make. We cant look at our own relationship in an objective light and that might be the reason why we find it even more confusing to know what’s wrong.
Men and women both make some common mistakes and some different mistakes. Here is a list of mistakes that women make, in no particular order. A lot of these mistakes won’t happen if you are aware of them and become a bit conscious. Hopefully, these will help you solve some relationship problems.
You Don’t Know Your Own Value
This is the most common mistake women make. They underestimate themselves. Do you chase after your man even when he treats you badly? Are you afraid to put forward your own needs? Do you put up with all the nonsense thinking that someday the other person will realize? Are you attracted to emotionally unavailable guys? Then you definitely do not realize your own worth. It is really important that you first realize your own value. You might have the fear within you that you are not good enough or that you won’t be loved. But these fears are affecting your life more than you realize yourself. You deserve more than this and you have to start valuing yourself.
Trying To Change Him Rather Than Accepting Him The Way He Is
You should never forget that when you entered a relationship with a person you did so because you liked him for who he is. It is a turn-off for a man when he finds the woman he is trying to impress is always criticizing him for who he is. Sometimes men might really be clueless about something but you do not have to keep on pointing their mistakes out to them. Women, by nature, are caretakers and that’s why they keep on correcting things. But for a man, it might make him feel embarrassing and insulting. People like to be appreciated and not criticized. If it is about small minor things then do it in a gentle and encouraging way.
Not Really Appreciating What He Does For You
As mentioned earlier, people like to be appreciated. If a man puts forth his effort and time to please you then you should acknowledge his love and effort and appreciate it. When you are on the receiving end you do not really realize how much thought and effort a person might have put in order to make you happy. Women sometimes make this mistake. They have this sense of entitlement when it comes to gifts and surprises a man gives them. Don’t be self-centered. Your partner does not owe you anything. Be grateful for the thought, effort and time he has put in for you.
Trying to tie him down too soon
If there is any mistake that women make over and over again, this is got to be it. Things might not be the same for him. Do not jump into things too soon. Give some space and time to dating or your relationship before taking the huge step. Two/ three dates or one intimate moment doesn’t often mean that you are in a relationship. While it is always assumed that men are not interested in a monogamous relationship, that’s not exactly true. Men also fall in love pretty hard just like women do. Sometimes they might just need time to process the fact that they are genuinely happy with you and that they are ready to give up their single life to be with you.
You Simply Don’t Understand Men Or Get Them
A man and woman are wired differently. You will be happy as long as you accept this fact. You can’t expect him to do things for you or be the way you want him to because he is wired differently and his wants and thoughts differ from you. If you want him to treat you like a queen then you should also do all the things that takes it to be his queen. Understanding how a man’s mind works or accepting however he is and appreciating him for who he is will keep your relationship intact forever.
You Don’t Inspire Him Enough To See A Future With You
Every one of us, men and women alike want the best of relationship, we want more than what we bargained for. We all want an ideal partner who gets us and understands us at a level that no one else has been able to reach till now. In fact, we feel blessed when our partner is so ideal that we have utmost strong appreciation and gratitude. If both of you really feel this way about each other than there’s no one stopping you from having a future. But when it doesn’t happen or you do not care enough to love him as much as he loves you then it is never going to work.
You Didn’t Build The Trust Or Broke It
Trust once broken is hard to fix just like a mirror. No one is immune to heartache and pain, regardless of how big and strong they are. Do not break the trust you spent building your whole relationship. Do not lie to him or deceive him. Just like you don’t like him hiding things from you, he doesn’t like it either. You want him and his heart to be invested in you then you got to do the same and keep the trust intact. Respect him and have his back all the times and he’ll surely see a future with you.
Creating Drama Instead Of Memories
Men like it when things are laid back and easy going. They do not like to be worked up constantly. When we women tend to create drama in the smallest bit of things they get frustrated and they do not understand why we make a mess of smallest things. It puts them on edge. If you like to stir up trouble or get overly emotional just to get his attention then you have got it all wrong.
Dumping Your Insecurities On Him
All of us have our own insecurities and it is natural for us to expect our partner and our friends to console us about it. But repeating and pinpointing out these insecurities all the time to our partner will make him feel emotionally drained. He can’t constantly keep on assuring you that he is attracted to you and loves you in spite of your flaws. Chances are he doesn’t even notice your flaws and even if he does, he accepts you the way you are and his love surpasses all those insecurities and flaws.
Being Passive Aggressive
Sometimes it is better to be straightforward and talk to each other about the things that are bothering you. If you are angry then let him know what caused the anger. Men like it when things are straightforward. Don’t mope around and pout and wait for him to find it out himself and set things straight. Waiting for him to press further and stepping up will make him resent and cause anger. It is better to come forward and be clear about the issues.
If your relationship is going downhill and if you find that you have made one or some of these mistakes then it is probably best for you to take corrective measures as soon as you can.
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.