You have been single for quiet sometime now and you are wanting a relationship. This want leads to a slight desperation and you do not end up in a good-deal in a relationship. You bargain with yourself and end up with nothing but compromises. This article is going to give you an insight to why you need to switch off that compromising mode and stop wanting for things forcefully. We are going to show you that there is a difference between what we call ‘adjustments’ and what ‘compromises’ are.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship but settling in a relationship just because of that is simply depicting a pessimistic attitude. Here are some valid reasons why you shouldn’t settle in a relationship and ask out the universe for more until you don’t feel enough.
YOU WILL NEVER LEARN TO LIVE ALONE, HAPPILY.
Living alone is a man’s greatest fear. What most of us fail to understand is that there is nothing wrong with staying alone and neither we should comprehend it as bad luck or lack of something. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Both are different. Being alone doesn’t mean that you require constant companionship and you are mostly embracing your company. Loneliness is a state of mind wherein a man is constantly devastated of not getting emotional or physical support from another man. Talking about relationships, most couples endure the apathies of their relationship and hide the flaws and inadequacies `because they have fear of a lonely life. The fact is that if this mindset continues to grow, a person will never evolve to live alone happily. There are a lot of perks of a life lead alone and when you make peace with it, you will be saved. It is important to learn to live alone as life guarantees nothing and there will be times when you will have to face problems and adversities of life by yourself. To be ready with the strength and mind, you will have to offer yourself an opportunity to learn to live alone and with a relationship where you are making just compromises, it is never going to happen.
YOU WILL VALUE EMOTIONAL PASSION LESS
A relationship where you have to settle and sculpt yourself in a way that you are swallowing your desires and wants, is simply not a secured place to be. If you guys are not emotionally passionate for each other then soon things will begin fading between you two and you guys will be left with nothing, but regrets and an unfulfilled heart. There will subconsciously grow a tendency where you guys will begin to value emotional passion very less. See, physical attraction is important to an extent between the partners but that doesn’t pave way to happiness. It might be a bonus on bed but in life’s playground, it is the emotional passion shared by the partners that will decide your victory. Settling for a man who is not passionately driven to you in terms of your sentiments and feelings is strictly a dangerous person as he might leave you with emotional scars. Sometimes they are irreparable, you will see yourself stuck in a point where you do not want to be with him yet want to spend the rest of your life with him. So don’t cause yourself this misery and choose not to settle in a relationship.
YOU WILL BE ROMANTICALLY DISSATISFIED
Do you think the romance in a relationship can still feel fresh and hearty if there is dwindling understanding between the partners? Never. For romance to sustain and be fulfilling, partners need to be at an equation where they nowhere have to settle. The connection or bond should be persuasive on each other in a way that they grow together, go discover places together, understand each other and help each other build their own empires. Your partner can be an extremely helpful person. He helps you put gas in the car, repairs the oven, helps you clean the mess after a party but that doesn’t make him a romantic person. Of course, there should be respect for partners who are nice and ready to lend a hand, but this doesn’t mean that you have to be with him when you feel that the romance in the air is nil.
THINGS WILL BE MORE LIKE A BUSINESS CONTRACT
Do you know why some people opt for arranged marriages and do not mind a mundane relationship? It is because it is more like a business contract and they feel secure with it as eventually their partners won’t leave them. Well! Hello there but marriages were never suppose to be like a business contract and if they are like that, you simply will never understand how beautiful love can feel like. It is better to be alone and happy than to be in a relationship that is synonymous to a business contract.
THERE WILL BE A FEELING THAT YOU ARE STUCK
No matter how hard you try, a human heart will always reflect what it feels. It might not make it visible to the outer world but you will always know deep inside what you are feeling. A relationship where you compromise, struggle for happiness and literally end up in war rather than discussions, you will always have a feeling of being stuck. Spending time with someone who isn’t willing to make healthy changes for you or make time for the relationship is nothing but suicide. You cannot settle for someone who doesn’t prioritize you. It reflects that you are wasting your time on someone who does not value your worth and takes you for granted. People who take their partners for granted will always end up making them feel lonely and stuck. You will always be desperately wanting for affection but will never get.
YOUR WILL BE PESSIMISTIC
A lot of us choose to settle in a relationship mostly because we are tired of finding the right one. After dating many people and realizing that nobody fits your bill and nobody is perfect for you, you kinda give up. You feel that it is okay to settle with someone who is at least giving back some amount of affection. But don’t you think this idea is pessimistic? You have simply given up on the thought that someone will actually return the wholehearted love and affection and care in the most profound manner. This kinda mindset will only render a cynical future. For a bright one, you will have to be a dating optimist. You first have to believe that the right partner for you exists and then shall ask for it and watch how universe place its dice and brings him to you. Settling will only add on to the negativity and you will never give yourself a chance to meet the right one.
IT WILL LOWER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
The most disastrous thing you can cause yourself in a relationship is surrender your self-esteem for your partner’s ego and arrogance. Believe that you deserve someone who respects and adores you as equally as you do. Diminishing your worth and accepting a person who doesn’t know how to make you feel amazing is absolutely a stupid choice and will lower your self-esteem to extent unimaginable.
YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING
Imagine that years later you are sitting in a park and repenting about the choices you have made. You see couples your age who have travelled the distance but with utmost care and romance. Will you not ask yourself that why I don’t have this? You certainly will. You will think about the choices you have made and will feel if only you had a chance to reverse things. But till then it will be too late.
YOU CERTAINLY DESERVE MORE
Girl, get this in your head that you deserve a big wonderful love that spoils you and treats you like a princess. So don’t give in for a so-so someone and trap yourself in a mediocre love. If love will be mediocre, what will be the fun?
YOU WILL NEVER LET BEAUTIFUL OPPORTUNITIES IN
Somewhere out there the right one will be waiting for you to be single and here you are settling for a guy who is nothing less than average. The spark you have always wanted will only lighten if you give yourself the opportunity to meet someone who is apt for you. A long term commitment requires a person who is willing to sail through all the ups and downs. It is like a marathon so you need your companion to be a marathon runner and not a sprinter!
So these were ten main reasons you should never settle in a relationship.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.