Relationships are meant to be beautiful and blissful then why do we feel awkward in the beginning? You still haven’t had any fights, there’s no baggage yet so it should be light and easygoing right? But that’s not what happens in real life. You find more than few uncomfortable moments and it’s same for everyone even though you might be a pro at relationship. The just-started-dating period is abso-freaking-lutely awkward and they might make you feel shy in all your firsts in the relationship.
Well, one thing we can sum up about why things are awkward is that you try to put up an impression which is a perfect version of you and while doing that you might slip up. So try skipping the formalities and just be you, maybe then you might find less awkwardness in your new relationship. Here are few pointers that might explain why things are awkward in the beginning
You Have Just Started Learning Things About Each Other
A simple reason for this awkwardness may be justified that you are still new to each other and haven’t known each other that much. So when by mistake you set them off deeply you just do not know what to do. It’s true that a relationship works best when you have learned little things about each other. You need to know all the pet peeves, all the things that set them off and also learn how to clarify things with your partner.
You Are Trying To Understand And Read Your Partner
Sometimes while you still are understanding your partner you try to read into your partner as to what kind of person he is. Stop trying to read into each and every thing your partner does because it is just awkward for you and him when you try to dig information out of each and everything he says. Stop trying to multitask between being yourself and reading your partner because things are going to happen and you’ll get to know him eventually.
You’re Trying Too Hard
Trust me when I tell you this- it happens in every relationship. You both are just trying to make a good impression on each other. There are several firsts on the way where you try to smooth play it, curb their own feelings, behaviors etc that they think might give a wrong impression. But the thing is if you are in a relationship with a person for a longer time you are going to know the true colors of each other and when they do pop up you actually feel awkward. You just do not know what to do at that point of time.
You Are Still Building The Trust
Trust just doesn’t establish when we enter into any kind of relationship. It takes time to build it. You’ve to give your new partner the benefit of doubt, put yourself forth to really face whatever that might happen. In the beginning, you are really unsure whether you can trust your partner and there is this awkwardness when you have to clear it to your partner that they still have a long way before they can trust each other. You have to trust your intuition and go with an open heart to have a chance at your happiness.
Emotional Intimacy Is Still Not There
Emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy. In some relationships, physical intimacy takes place way before emotional intimacy is established and things get a bit awkward. Sure, everyone is different and things might work differently for different people. But the fact is when you have sex and when you still do not have established that level of emotional intimacy you just do not know how to act after it. You feel awkward the morning after. You are just clueless.
You Are Worried
One of the most common thoughts people have when they have just started the relationship is the fact that their new partner might not like them as much as they do after knowing your one bad quality. You worry that you are really not what they expected and that scares you and worries you. The awkwardness comes from the anxiety of being accepted the way you are. I know it’s really not something to be awkward about but you are still feeling it. For instance, when you have just had your first kiss, you worry about it thinking whether it was good for the other or not.
The Unknown Scares You The Most
Fear of the unknown is exciting on one hand and quite scary on the other. You are in a relationship with this person whom you have just started knowing and it is scary for you to trust your heart with him. You fear of getting hurt, you fear of being rejected, you fear of being not being good enough. All of these are valid from one point of view but just see it this way that you anyway have to do it so do it without fear. Don’t be scared and things will become a little less awkward maybe.
Having High Expectations
Well, you see, it’s not wrong to expect things from each other but don’t keep high expectations right from the start. Yes, you might have dreamed of your Mr or Mrs right but you also have to agree that reality is different from dreams. We create unrealistic expectations in our head and then try to live up to it. That just doesn’t happen. It brings awkwardness in the relationship.
It Doesn’t Feel Official Yet
Honestly, there’s no shortcut to building the trust and comfortability. It all comes with the amount of more time you spend with each other. You might have labeled each other but you still have that inner voice that questions everything and makes it super awkward. You are not going to ease up with each other just with long conversations, you’ll have to share some experience and moments which will pave the way to comfort.
Insecurities Crop Up
Everyone has insecurities. Some of them might have been ingrained in your head from your past breakups and relationships. Meeting someone new triggers these insecurities because you fear you’ll commit the same mistakes you did in old relationships. Your insecurities get the best of you and you double check everything that comes your way and things turn awkward. If you also have insecurities regarding how you look things are going to get even weirder for you because you keep second guessing everything you do and wear. You need to stop stressing on your insecurities. Think that you are cool enough, if they think you are not good enough then it’s their loss. Go out and enjoy yourself.
There’s no relationship that’s not awkward. So just chill out and give things the benefit of doubt and enjoy.
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.