I had a friend who used to keep doing things that all that we ever did was discuss about him in our friend circle. He behaved extremely kind and generous that at times, people around him felt awkward. His care for us would give us a feeling that we have a babysitter in the middle of us and with the passage of time, we even realized that most of the things he has been telling us over the years were sheer lies. Slowly and gradually, we concluded that he had a habit of desperately seeking attention and that he cannot live a day without people around him. Within months the situation escalated to levels unimaginable that he told us he has been diagnosed with Cancer whereas the truth was the he was perfectly alright. This just blew my mind and I wondered that what might have instigated him to lay down series of lies and behave in such a manner.
I did some decent amount of research and found that it is known as attention seeking disorder and people with such disorder have certain signs and this can be cured with proper medical and psychological help.
Here are a few signs that you are or you have an attention seeker in your group.
1. They always want flattery
Attention seekers are constantly looking for reaffirmation about their qualities. They know they are good looking, intelligent and able but that is not enough for them. They not only want people around them to know about their aptitude, they also want to hear compliments and praises. Researchers have said that they do so because they have hidden insecurities in them and their egos get a boost when they are admired and looked up to as exceptional and gifted.
2. They make their problems everyone’s problem
This is the worst and it will reach a point when you will be driven crazy. Attention seekers have their bunch of problems, well, we all have our own set of problems right? But what they do is that they will talk about their problems non-stop and their motto is not just to be heard. They want you to be a part of it and will push to get involved in the problem and see it as it is your own problem. You will notice that they will intentionally bring up their problems at a happy moments and almost everywhere narrate their sob stories. Be it the pizza delivery guy or the cab driver, don’t be surprised if he is telling them his depressed stories. When you show interest, they take advantage of it and take overstatement to heights and amplify their stories so much that you feel remorse. Getting you involved is what they aim at and therefore, their problems becomes everyone else’s problems too.
3. They always blow their trumpet
There is a difference in bragging about your achievements and talents and genuinely telling your friends about your accomplishments because you are thankful and grateful for the abilities god has bestowed in you. What attention seekers do is that they will always want you to know about their successes and they will use exaggerated versions of the actual story while narrating it to you. They will overemphasize on how they acted smartly in a situation and came out as the winner. They always want the world to know about their attainments and like blowing their own trumpet.
4. They always play the victim
Sympathy is something they will trade anything for. This is why you will notice that they always play the victim. Even if they are at mistake or have done something wrong, they will say sorry but will mourn about their situation and will try and justify what they did, making you end up with guilt for accusing them of doing what they have done. Silly and so over dramatic. Isn’t it? But that is what attention seekers do. They never admit their mistakes and always occupy the victim seat so that they are safe and it is you who ends up with the turmoil because you don’t even get a decent apology and instead has to comfort him for feeling low.
5. They complain about everyone and everything
Pessimistic and suspicious all the damn time, they always complain about everyone. If there is an award for causing the most amount of drama in the shortest length of time, these people surely deserve that. Because no matter how organized a set up is, they will play the cynic and will always find flaws and whine about it. This might even go on for days. The silent protest will spill out in the forms of social media posts or sarcasm.
6. They condemn social media but are the most active ones
They will act as if social media is a curse for the youth and disintegrates them from reality. But are their feeds empty? Naaaaaaah! They are the ones who are super active on Twitter, Instagram and facebook, all at once. They will keep posting pictures with fancy captions with a simple aim that is to get maximum number of likes and get a virtual reaffirmation for their intriguing lifestyle and so called intelligent persona. The hyper activeness on social media is a desperate attempt to gain attention from people, more than half of which you don’t even know personally.
7. They want to be the life of the party always
Not once, not twice but always. They want to be the center of the attention at every social gathering. If there is a party, they want that by the end of it his friends are thankful to him for having made it to the party as else the festivity would have been futile. When they feel that the spotlight is not on them and nobody is paying attention to them, they will make sure that they do something out of the box, so that the spotlight is placed back.
8. They would give Walt Disney a run for his money
Their story telling abilities are top notch and if you think you have an escape, you are wrong. They are master story teller and in no time will you realize that they have caught your attention and now they know how to keep the attention captivated. Their great narration skills always get the audience excited in knowing what happened next. They know when to amplify reality and make the story more thrilling with attention grabbing fake twists and insights.
9. They are trouble makers
Just when you think everything is fine, something will pop up in their mind and they will get everybody in trouble. They are mechanized with this unique annoying habit of not letting things happen smoothly. They will start a war instead of opting for a tranquility. They will never thank anyone or like somebody else getting noticed for their significant work. They will start a rumor or spread gossips or prefer cynicism to acknowledge someone’s work.
10. They want people to envy their glamorous life
They want to showcase the world that they lead a life that doesn’t have a dull moment in it. They like to put up an image that they are high maintenance and that there life is pitch perfect. Even after adorning reality with so many layers of fictional luxuries, they like to be called as someone who has simplicity and ease within them.
Attention seekers are not good friends and are full of themselves. So, you should be meticulously choosing your friends as you may end up losing a lot of your precious time and energy on a drama King or a Queen. If you think you are around someone who is like the above mentioned, it is time you take some wise decisions.
Reynu joined WomenNow from the beginning on. She loves writing and combines this with her love for India, the country her parents emigrated from to the United States looking for a better life and opportunities. Studying litterature and journalism helped laid the foundation for her writing skills. She is into badminton and an avid runner. Her dream is to live between New York and Mumbai.