Being nice and being a pushover has a difference. There’s a fine line in between both of them. Being nice is something that is necessary if you want to your relations to stay and makes others want to be around you. But when you are a pushover you’ll do anything others want you to do so as to please them. You can even mold your own opinions in order to satisfy others. It’s just that you are way too nice and that makes you be at the mercy of others care. You seek other’s care and approval.
While it may not seem like a big deal but it’s that habit that becomes quite a problem. You might never be able to say no and people might approach you all the time because you won’t say no. Like ever! You’ll rush into work even on Sundays, help your friend plan a date set up for his girlfriend and so on. Of course, you might see it as being a hard worker, a good friend but this people pleasing mentality is going to drain you.
Here are a few signs that you are a complete and utter pushover:
‘I Don’t Mind’ Is Your Go To Answer
People never think before asking you a favor. You can even call it this way: people constantly take advantage of you. It is because you never mind them asking and you do not say no. They know you are the only person who wouldn’t say no when they need you so they’ll probably call you up for work. It’s time you stand up for yourself. Set your priorities and learn whom to give importance and whom you shouldn’t. It’s hard at first but later on, you get used to it.
You Never Say ‘No’
This is in rein to the last point. ‘No’ isn’t a part of your vocabulary. You know, what’s the consequence of this? You end up dragged into things you never wanted to or were least interested in. But the thing is there is only so much time you can make for all the things in life and you can’t go on wasting it on something you don’t want to do. People will push you but you do not have to be a pushover if you come forth and learn to speak the word ‘no’.
You Alter Your Opinion
You do not want to rub people in the wrong way; I totally understand it because even I don’t want confrontations. In fact, I hate them. Maybe that’s the reason why you consistently waver from your opinion. Some people might say that you do it to please people. But it might be that they do not see it your way. You just do it so that you can avoid confrontations. Well, whatever the reason be you need to stop doing that. Sometimes it’s okay but otherwise, you need to hang on to your opinions and stick to them.
You Give Up Easily
You probably know this and have heard it a couple of times from your friends. You start up something with a good note and for some time you feel like you are on cloud 9 but eventually, when you face bumps along the road, you back down and become nervous about it. Try to place more confidence in yourself and put confidence in each and everything you do.
You Over Apologize
Well, apologizing when you have done something wrong is good manners. But you really need not apologize when you are cashing in the favors or when you request some help from people. It’s absolutely unnecessary. Pushovers tend to do this a lot. They tend to add ‘I m sorry’ when they have done some mistake and they also add sorry when they request, they add sorry when they feel you are busy, they add sorry when they feel they are unworthy. Trust me you do not need to feel sorry for all of this.
You Constantly Ask Permission
This is actually a bad habit of pushovers. You do know right it annoys people sometimes. You just think that you are trying to do what they want you to do but it is not actually so. It is actually over-politeness. I know it is necessary to take permission on some occasions. Just don’t try to please people this way.
Commuting Is A Struggle That’s Real
You get shoved while commuting, like literally. Commuting is like going on a battle for you because you have to try really hard to beat others but still you get shoved back. You might have perfectly outdone others in that commute pose (Elbows out and eyes forward) but still, someone else manages to beat you down. Why because even while commute you want to be polite to others instead of thinking about yourself. Of course, I m not telling you to shove old people out of your way but you can course fast through others, right?
You Totally Give Into Bargains
You totally hide from a saleswoman in the mall because you know once she approaches you; you are going to have a hard time telling her what you need. Because you know once she pulls her sales and marketing skills you’ll find it really hard to say no. And you end up buying the thing even if it expensive. It is a regular norm for a pushover. This is something you need to learn because you don’t want to be ripped off in this way.
You Hate To Argue
You hate to think that you are the cause for other’s hurt feeling or upsetting them. You avoid arguments at all costs. You have to understand that it is a normal to argue sometimes be it friendship or relationship or even families. Even though you hate to argue with someone it is healthy sometimes. Just remember you are arguing for your own opinion and you need to value your own beliefs and thoughts. You need to understand it is worth arguing sometimes.
You Never Complain
It is probably a good thing. People may also like this quality in you as you never really complain and comply with everything. You deal with many things that are out forth you. You might also ignore some blatant mistakes of people which frankly is taking it too far. You prove that you are an absolute pushover. It is really okay to complain when someone has done something that is pretty unavoidable.
Don’t shrink your values or let go of beliefs for anyone. Only you can stand up for yourself and achieve what you can. It is easier to get what you want if you stand up for it and not seek other’s approval.
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.