Recently I read about a divorce case where the reason the couple stated for parting ways was that their career goals were suffering and there was a lot of pressure in their love life. Of late one of my friends asked out his crush but he refused saying ‘Right now I just want to focus on my career and I don’t think I can mix love with it and manage’. I wonder if it was that easy that a part of your life you could focus on your career and once you are satisfyingly settled you could allow love into your lives. If only things waited for us and we could purely align love and career as per our convenience. But since we know that that’s not possible, we should strike a balance between the two important aspects. Love and career, neither has to suicide as you can manage both with some thoughtful steps. This article will guide you through the steps that you need to take in order to keep your love life and career in balance.
SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS
A lot of fights in a relationship are when one has different set of expectations than the significant other. When expectations are not clear, we tend to let down our partner. Not purely by our intentions but just because we are unaware how they expect us to be. So one thing straight up that you both need to set clear expectations. Tell him that you expect him to devote his after work time to you. So 7-10 p.m. – Phones shall be switched off and no laptop. You will have to set boundaries to not let your relationship become exhausting. Being career oriented is definitely an important thing but taking out time for your partner in the middle of chaos has its own essence.
DECISIVE DECISIONS ON ALLOCATION OF MONEY
When finances are not properly discussed between the pair, issues can arise in no time. Money is a common argument between couples and allocation of money on home and work can be exhausting if finances haven’t been a part of the decision making yet. You need to discuss how things are going to be if one quits his job and decides to chase his/her passion. Is the other half willing to support? These are the things that need to be made clear so that if a job is lost, you both do not land up in a financial mess.
FIX TIME TO SPEND TOGETHER
No matter how much texts or voice calls you exchange, physically spending time with one another is unmatched and you just cannot afford to compromise on that. So carve out time for each other. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you guys need to go on a date every Friday. Take a membership at a gym and exercise together oryour weekly errands can be planned together, that can be productive and you guys will get to see each other more.
WORKOUT YOUR ISSUES THEN AND THERE
If you think that things aren’t going the way it should and you have something within that is bothering you, then the best thing to do is spill the beans then and there. If you are going to keep the grudges inside you over a matter, that will exist inside your mind as a residue and will lead to piling up of issues one after the other. If you have a problem with him, tell him. Don’t pick up a fight but let him know that there is a problem and you are on a lookout for solution.
I have seen many relationships fall apart when there is only one person willing to make all the sacrifices. If you are the one making all the adjustments, then surely you are going to get weary and tired. A relationship is about equal investment from two people and when you find lack of support from your partner, you will doubt his presence and participation in the relationship. So, it is extremely important that when it is about sacrifices, it should be equal. If you are cutting down your spa sessions to spend more time with him then he should also call off his boys get-together
WHOLEHEARTED SUPPORT NO MATTER WHAT
This is the foundation for any long lasting relationship. The modern era has got all of us very short tempered and social media has tarnished the mirror to a real relationship creating dreamlike expectations for everyone. We need to realize that no relationship is perfect and you cannot find everything in your man. He has his flaws and so do you. You need to make peace with the fact that you both at some point are going to let each other down. And that is okay! Unconditional love is when you are there for him no matter what the situation is. Your relationship might go through a significant low but you need to remind yourself what you signed up for. Hence, there should be full support for each other no matter what.
SHARE THE DUTIES
Household chores are usually expected to be done by women. But isn’t that unfair? Especially when she is working too. Those days are long gone when only women used to perform household tasks. Nowadays, household duties are now equally divided between the couple. So what you got to do is share responsibilities, assign who takes out the trash in the morning, who does the ironing, who cooks, who washes the dishes. Make the roles clear.
BE MORE FORGIVING AND SAY SORRY WHEN APOLOGETIC
A relationship sustains when you keep aside your egos and are forgiving in nature. Your partner is going to disappoint you and vice versa, this is how human nature works. But you should know that your love is far above all the fights you will ever have. Struggles of relationship have to be dealt with a mindset that the problems are temporary and shall pass if you both are in the spirit of one another. Apologizing is a crucial thing as it builds strength and endurance in a relationship. So whenever you feel sorry, say it. Admit that you made a mistake and you will work on your shortcomings.
BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR PRIORITIES
When you have to strike a balance between love and career, you have to set your priorities clear. Prioritizing doesn’t mean you have to give up on one of the two. It simply means aligning work and romance in a way that both can work in the best possible way. It is a part of planning and arranging things in order. If your career seems to be stagnant and you feel that it needs to be paid attention to at this time, then make things clear that you need to devote more time to your work. But also ensure that there is a feeling between the two of you that you guys are mutually valuable.
Communication is the pillar of any relationship. The more you guys stay connected and talk, the more you will be fond of each other. This won’t make anyone of you feel that your love life is being snubbed; you will allot your career and your partner equal attention. So stay connected through text messages, randomly make a call or send a cute video to make them feel special.
The above mentioned information draws you towards the alterations you need to make in order to not fall short of achievements neither in your career nor in your love life. It is falsely assumed that both love and career cannot be pursued at the same time. You actually can do that with a planned actions and competent communication.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.