Redamancy, a rarely heard word but undoubtedly heard here and there. Often when we start to fall in love, we either resist it or embrace it with open arms. Redamancy is embracing love with your open arms and reciprocating it. It is about you letting the love overwhelm you, letting it take over your whole being.
What Is Redamancy? How To Practice It?
Redamancy refers to the act of loving in return. It’s about returning the love wholeheartedly to the one who loves you.
All of us have this urge to share feelings with someone; to be involved with someone is such a way that you are totally drenched by it. Having to love someone truly and be loved in the same way, having to share the life with someone and being with him/her through thick and thin. But is it that easy to just open up to someone and be vulnerable? Is it easy to love someone with all your being? Absolutely not but is it worth it? Totally.
Surrendering yourself to someone means keeping yourself open to everything that might come in your way of love even the obstacles, emotions, vulnerabilities etc. But it is the courage to take the risk that will lead you to true love. Here are a few things you need to go through when you want to practice redamancy.
It Is Okay To Be Scared
Loving someone is not a cakewalk. Everyone is scared, regardless of what they show on the surface. We are not so open to ourselves about admitting many things so how can we expect that opening up to someone else might be easy. It is not going to be. It takes a lot of courage to do that. One thing is for sure that you are going to get hurt no matter what. Don’t think that you never will get hurt because that is inevitable. When you get hurt only then you know the person for who he is and also getting hurt shows us a lot about another person. Admit it that you are scared and it is perfectly okay to be so.
Name The Fear
Now that we have established that you are scared, you need to find out what exactly you are scared of. This is the first thing in redamancy to identify with. Everyone has different reasons of being scared like scared of losing yourself, scared of getting hurt, scared of getting addicted to someone etc. You are not alone in this. The other person is also risking his all to be with you. It’s your turn to recognize your fears and admit them to yourself. Once you know why it is hard to love someone with your all, you can easily take the next step to fight it.
Your Ego Will Block Your Path To Love
I m not saying you are egoistic, no, but what I mean to say is that it is the ego that will sometimes make you question your step again. Basically, our ego doesn’t want to be controlled by others. Loving someone means letting go of that control and it is the risk that our ego stops us from taking. But know that ego is just a part of us and we shouldn’t let it control us or our actions. If you start to look at things without your ego blocking the path, it’ll be easy to practice redamancy.
Know That You Deserve The Love
Many of us are so insecure that we have started to believe that we are not worthy of love, which is totally not true, mind you! You might be insecure about you not being skinny enough or you not being tall enough or you just being you, don’t be. If someone loves you and showers you with love that means they accept you with all your flaws. Accept the love gracefully and love them back. Don’t fear or feel insecure, fight them. You are worth all the love that is there in this world.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Do you know why we end up losing love and loved ones? It’s because we are too damn scared to be honest with the person we love. You are scared to admit it to them. Tell them frankly how you feel. They’ll understand I assure you and if they don’t, try explaining why you feel scared and why you need some time. Don’t leave them wondering what they did wrong because that’s what they’ll do when you do not return the love and not even explain why. It is hard to hear them saying ‘I love you’ and not say it in return but it is okay as long as you explain why you don’t say them back.
What Is Love For You?
Doesn’t love mean the same to everyone? Well not exactly. Everyone defines love in their own way. Just the way we express love differently, we understand love differently. Many times the way we love someone is the way we are brought up. We all have different upbringings and that is why we define love differently. So what is love to you?
Two People Can Never Be Same And Neither Is Love
Love isn’t something that can be copied. You can’t be someone else and you can’t love someone or express it the exact same way they do. Redamancy can’t be defined or learned somewhere, it comes from within. Once you are in love you’ll know what it exactly means to you. But remember the way you perceive and give back the love can’t be perceived the same by the other person. No two loves are same.
Love Or Infatuation?
Lust, love or infatuation- hard to differentiate when you are high on feelings. Redamancy is true love. You need to find out whether what you are feeling is love or infatuation. Infatuation can turn into love gradually but it can also vanish along the line. Infatuation is an immediate intense desire for someone. You feel so attracted to someone that you feel like you are in love but it is not exactly love. Love grows gradually between two people.
Getting There Will Take Time
Okay, so you know you are in love and still, you are scared. There’s no need to rush it. If he/she loves you truly then he’ll wait for you. You don’t have to run from love or rush into it just because you are scared. Take your time. Don’t compare it with others. Some people might fall in love quickly and even admit it and some people might take a slower pace to come to terms with love and even more time to admit and return it. So take as long as you want just make sure you overcome it and have redamancy.
The Deeper You Fall In Love, The More You’ll Grieve
It is what it is and you can’t deny it. Loving someone is a boon but the grief that comes with it when it is no longer there is a bane. You can’t turn away from the facts and one of it is that even love can come to an end due to several possible reasons. Whether the person leaves you or you leave him, you both get into argument or that person passes away all of it is going to hit you hard. You’ll grieve harder. Even if the grief is not permanent it is going to hurt anyway.
It is not that hard if you are really set on figuring out your feelings. Let go your fear and practice redamancy, the art of loving in return.