When it comes to sex, women and society have always had high expectations from men. Men have to bear the pressure of these expectations, which create sexual anxiety. Same way, women can also be anxious about not satisfying their partner. It may be for the first time they have sex or even after. One bad experience can leave them doubting themselves. It is the same with both men and women. In some cases, it may be some physical disorder and some other times the problem may not at all be physical. In fact, sexual anxiety might also be psychological or emotional.
Firstly, people should actually stop comparing real-life sex with porn. Porn and porn stars have actually messed up with our heads and expectations. You have to realize that sex in real life is different. Secondly remember, no one can be pro by birth, you have to learn things and as you might have already heard –‘Practice makes man perfect’. You have to stop worrying too much about performing well. Because too much of thinking will cause doubts whether you’ll able to perform or not and sometimes about your masculinity or femininity. Sexual anxiety and performance anxiety may further have a worse effect on your performance.
These few tips might help you in overcoming sexual anxiety and help you perform better
Know How To Communicate
First things first, you have to know that if you are anxious about sex and intercourse, let your partner know. Don’t be judgmental about yourself. It is better if you have that much trust in between you two. Just like all the other problems, you have to share this one too. Don’t bottle up your worries and anxiety within you. You have to work on this problem together. She/ he will definitely be more than okay to comfort you and assure you. Sexual anxiety can be overcome only when you will start communicating with your partner. [Read: 7 Ways to communicate during sex!]
You might be having second thoughts about sex and it might create anxiety in you about your performance. If it has made you so much anxious then you might start solo. Do it solo, try some tricks and you’ll gain some confidence. Then bring her/ him into the mix and you’ll see that you are a lot more confident now. [Read: 10 Secrets about masturbation you did not know!]
There’s No Rush, Take Your Time
There’s no time watch set here and there is no rush. Slowing things down will help you a lot. Don’t ever rush things because you’ll end up screwing it badly. You can just enjoy the foreplay and bit of touching and fondling. Stop thinking so hard about it because things will be okay. Don’t let your sexual anxiety discourage you.
A Drink To Rescue
If you are a kind of person who relaxes after a drink or two then maybe you can use a drink right now. It is necessary for you to relax first. A drink might help you get over your sexual anxiety and worries because alcohol can definitely help you loosen up a bit. It might be able to ease your worries. Just know that all these anxieties are filled up in your head, they might not even be real. [Read: 8 Best foods to indulge in before sex!]
Don’t Overdo The Drinks
Yeah, a glass of wine or two would help you relax but not more than that. You have to be conscious while you have sex. Moderate the number of drinks you have. Alcohol might make the situations worse sometimes, especially in the cases of sexual disorders.
Learn To Talk Dirty
Dirty talk is one of the huge turn-ons for most of the men and women. Dirty talk can be an extra spark to the usual sex routine. If you are one of such people who love dirty talk then don’t hesitate in letting your partner know about this. He/ she will definitely try to please you more with it. Dirty talk is a way of expressing that helps people open up to each other, it spikes the confidence and that’s why it can play a role in overcoming your sexual anxiety. [Read: 5 Reasons why sexting is good for your relationship!]
Consider Keeping The Lights On
Most of the women prefer sex with the lights off for the first time. But you should also note the fact that it might be a disadvantage sometimes because it takes one of your major senses away. Sure, it can help you in increasing the other senses and it might sometimes be a really good experience. But having the lights on can give you the visual benefit. Having her or him in front of you can actually help you forget your sexual anxiety and really get lost in the sensation.
Stop Worrying And Reduce The Stress
Sometimes over thinking can worsen the things. Stop being a worrywart. If you worry too much then even while having sex you might keep on thinking about whether your partner likes it or not, what does he/ she think of you, how awful will it feel if you won’t be able to make them cum and so on. When you are having sex your mind should actually be filled with erotic thoughts and pleasure. You shouldn’t even have that much time to think about all this. It is the major thing that is causing the sexual and performance anxiety. Fill your thoughts by thinking how you can heighten the pleasure for you both.
Focus On Pleasure
What you should actually focus upon is on pleasing each other. Know each other and know what both of you like. Don’t make it a mundane process but make it exciting by being creative. Try new ways of pleasuring each other before going for the actual deed. You can give mutual masturbation a try while watching each other.
Increase Your Sexual Knowledge
There is so much more to sex that lot of us don’t know. Your sexual anxiety may also be due to inexperience and discomfort. One way to overcome it is to be comfortable with sex both inside and outside the room. Learn stuff that you don’t know, learn new tips and tricks and incorporate them while intercourse it will increase your comfort level and experience.
Say No To Porn
You might have watched porn many times. By now, you already know how different things are in reality. Porn can set terrible expectations in the mind of people. These expectations might sometimes make the sex less enjoyable. It does have bad effects on your sex life, not all the times though. Just keep the excitement and fantasy to your imagination. [Read: 9 Stark lies Porn told you about sex!]
Exploring Intimacy, establishing comfort with each other, communication with the partner and positive self-talk can be really helpful in overcoming sexual anxiety.