All of us want to be loved and paid attention to, which is why we find it hard to give up on dating and try and make a balance between our professional and personal lives. Dating someone often gets a lot complicated than we actually signed up for. Unlike relationships, dating scenes do not come with clarity or cut to cut answers and there is a whole lot of over thinking that goes into it. The matter becomes very subjective over time. People around you begin asking ‘ hey! Is that your boyfriend or not?’ and you are absolutely clueless what is going on between the two of you as he is showing no signs of commitment yet you feel there is romance brewing. Being zoned in this grey area for long isn’t a good feeling and we all at some moment in time been there. Things get a lot more complex and multi-layered when the person you are dating doesn’t treat you like someone they want to be dating. This happens too! And we have been there, right? So how in this extensively chaotic situations do we figure out whether he wants to date you or not? Well! Here are some signs that you should notice in his behavior and find out the what’s up in his mind.
HE IS DATING OTHER GIRLS AS WELL
If you guys are in a seemingly casual relationship then the chances are that he might be involved with more girls. He simply might be into exploring his options and investing in more than one person. If he is dating more girls, I believe he is keeping you as his backup or you are being clearly sidelined. I don’t think it is fair to make you fall to the wayside when you are way too much interested in him. Because the end of dating him will eventually be overdramatic and extra and the break up when you are not even in a relationship can be weird as hell.
HE HAS NOT MOVED ON FROM HIS EX
While you are dating him, you will be able to understand whether he has overcome his past relationships or not. If his ex still pops in his conversations and his facebook feeds announce that the wounds are still fresh, then you are clearly his rebound, nothing else. Clinging onto him is simply a one way ticket to emotional turmoil and wrong investment of energy and time. If he is not over his ex completely, then dating him can cost you feelings of regret and perhaps even betrayal.
HE IS ON A BREAK FROM HIS RELATIONSHIP
What could be worse than being his dodo while he has decided to take a break from his relationship. Dating him while has hasn’t really even broken up with his girlfriend is annoying and devastating. In this case, you are not even an option for him. He is simply passing him time as eventually he is going to resume his relationship and abandon you while you will be all confused and haywire. So, this is a complete no-no.
HE SAYS ‘ HE ISN’T GOOD AT DATING’
What better a hint than this one? Holy shit! Nobody is buying this excuse in the first place. For men who state that they aren’t good at dating, it is a clear indication that they are not into you and doesn’t feel you are worthy of the emotional investment. So why waste time hanging onto a person with such an attitude. It is time to wave goodbye.
HE HAS A ‘I DON’T CARE’ ATTITUDE
When you are interested in him, you will look for making calls and knowing if he is doing fine or simply you will have the curiosity in knowing more about him. But if he doesn’t reflect any care and is always making excuses that his phone died, or he had an urgent appointment with a doctor or had to turn up to his family, then needn’t say that phone comes with a charger, he isn’t diseased and his family cannot be clipped onto him 24*7. These are mere excuses he is making to cover up his incompetence. Care comes naturally when you like someone and making phone calls or dropping some cute texts, hardly takes moments. So no excuses there!
HE DITCHES YOU AT THE TIME OF TALK
If he doesn’t really want to date you, you will see that he will avoid talking to you about it. He will shy away when it is the time for discussion and speaking out what exactly is he expecting in a relationship. He will somehow ditch you or smartly escape the talk and leave you with no content to ponder upon and take a decision.
HE SCREWS THINGS UP LAST MOMENT
If he has been changing his plans last moment and your dates have been cancelling one after the other becomes of him, then clearly you are nowhere on his priority list. We all have heard that there is no such thing as being busy, it is just a matter of priorities. I wouldn’t advocate that you fully agree to it as sometimes people are genuinely busy and can’t devote their time, but every time? …..nah nah!
HE DOESN’T TAKE YOU ON REAL DATES
If he is not serious about what’s going on between the two of you, he will never put in efforts or take initiative to take you out on a real date. You might be thinking what exactly is a real date? Well! The difference is that a real date is way more organized and the guy takes care of all the arrangements bound to make you feel special. A real date will have stimulating conversations, some beautiful flowers, special gestures like the guy will have you walk down your home or pick and drop you. After a real date, the guy will call you the next day. If you didn’t have any of those and you have been months into dating him , I think it is high time you rethink about your choices.
HE DOESN’T ADJUST AT ALL
If he isn’t looking forward to date you, he will never compromise. Making compromises are a part of a healthy relationship and it shows care. If he doesn’t do that at all, you aren’t being treated fairly.
HE KEEPS YOU AWAY FROM HIS PEOPLE
One of the important signs is that whether he looks forward to introducing you to his friends or not. If he hasn’t revealed anything about you two to his friends, then it means he isn’t sure about you and is just taking a lazy unproductive chance.
HE SHOWS AFFECTION ONLY IN PRIVATE
‘I am a private person and I hate PDA’, oh well, does holding hands in public is also too much of a PDA? Being afraid of coming out with you in public is another sign that he doesn’t want you. If he shows affection only in private and doesn’t even hold your hands in public or drops out on all the adorable gestures, it is time you move on.
HE ISN’T INTERESTED IN WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE
His disinterest in what is going on in your life is also another stellar sign. Your achievements or the special occasions in your life doesn’t seem to excite him or at least make him feel obliged to show participation is a crystal clear indication that he is not into you.
These are signs that you need to read in his behavior and figure out what’s actually cooking in his mind. If you think he executes a lot of these signs, then please go ahead and endow in someone who treats you the way you want to be treated rather than wasting your precious time and energies on someone who will simply land you up in dismay.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.