Love is a beautiful emotion that clouds us with happiness and joy. It is immensely powerful and delightful and with time it grows fonder between two people completely devoted to each other. But often we see that things take a reverse turn and with time the relationship becomes exhausting and you learn that your partner’s feeling are way out of your control and there is nothing being done to alter the changing environment of your relationship. You have begun feeling left out and you think that the love and consideration is pouring in from your side only. If you can relate to this, let me give you more clarity if you have started to feel that your relationship has gotten one sided. Here are fifteen signs that indicate that you are in a one-sided relationship.
1. Your partner never changes his routine for you
We all have our own routine for the day but we willingly make the changes to insert any sudden plans with our loved ones. We do not follow the routine religiously to turn down people who care for us and want to spend time with us. If your partner is very strict with his routine and is always in a disagreement to reschedule his routine for you, it is a clear indication that he is not molding things for you.
2. You are the one planning the dates always
Romance is an element that helps keep the spark in any relationship alive. It’s a beautiful thing to be in and makes you feel blessed. But once romance starts vanishing from a relationship, things start getting boring and the vibes are no more there of being with a loved one. If you have started noticing that he is no more loving and have lost all passion for you and you are the ones fixing up dates and planning activities, it means your relationship has only one player left.
3. He never makes efforts in your social circle
This means when you go out for a part or any social event, he keeps himself isolated and doesn’t make any move to talk to your friends or the people who mean a lot to you. He doesn’t try to leave a good impression on them and rather sits in a corner with his cocktail. Being shy and socially awkward is a different thing but if he is unlike that and still choses to refrain from talking to people that matter to you, it show that he discards your associations.
4. He never introduces you to his important people
Just like you, he too must be having his own set of important people. You both have been in a relationship for more than a year now and he still keeps you away from those people. He doesn’t feel like introducing you to them and when you ask, he always backs out. Chances could be that he is still not sure about you or he is not proud of who you are. Both ways, clear indication that it is a one sided relationship.
5. No special gestures
Not talking about decorating an entire room with candles and balloons and getting you a diamond necklace. Simply talking about little gestures like making a cup of coffee, kissing you on the forehead randomly, ordering your favorite pastry or anything that makes you feel superior in his life. If he has withdrawn himself making such small but significant gestures, it is time you know there is something wrong in your relationship.
6. His touch is not affectionate
Physical touches are so expressive and can speak a thousand words. You can simply understand how the person feels about you with the way he touches you. If your guy is touching you without affection, you will know. This is why physical intimacy is of two different kinds, one is called lust and other is denoted as love making. Both are hugely different. If the physical touch is not same anymore, and there is no cuddling and caressing and things have become purely mechanical, well, you have an answer.
7. Your partner takes you for granted
One of the biggest problems in any relationship is that you get taken for granted. You do things that were once appreciated but now they are ignored and never acknowledged. The only response they have when you drop them for work or cook their favorite meal is ‘thanks’. And, that hurts!
8. You are not being heard patiently
Listening to each other patiently is one quality and pillar of every stable relationship. If you cannot be a good listener, you lack a very important value. We sign up for a relationship so that we have a support system that will be there for us when we are in trouble. Being a support also means listening to someone with full respect and attention. If you think that your partner has been cutting your talks and deviating from things that you try telling him, you should know that there is a very serious problem.
9. He disregards your likes and dislikes
When your partner takes no interest in what makes you happy and joyous, it shows lack of interest. When there is a low degree of participation in stuff or activities that pleases you or bothers you, it signals that the relationship is getting into a territory where you will suffer. If you witness him neglecting your likes and dislikes, and often tossing you down when you try communicating, you know your nightmare of a one sided relationship has got real.
10. He doesn’t change his bad habits for you
He has a habit of throwing the towel on the floor and not washing his dishes after eating and even after you have been continuously tried to tell him that you don’t like these habits, he turns deaf ears. He doesn’t try and he doesn’t change. This is not just disrespectful to you but is also deteriorating his personal development.
11. Picking you fights over problem solving
You try and talk to him if anything bothers you but his tone is offensive. He picks up a fight and starts putting the blame on you. This negative attitude is not going to take you guys far as you will be exhausted of getting ruthlessly snubbed always.
12. He always points out your flaws
From praising you for wearing silver earring to pointing out your flat toes, you know time has changed and now he has lost a sight to see the good in you. He has adapted a habit of pointing out your flaws everywhere. Be it just the two of you or amidst your peer groups, he is always being critical.
13. There isn’t enough trust
He always suspects you that you are lying and shows a low level of trust in you. Unlike the beginning, now he constantly nags about you and says that you aren’t reliable or faithful anymore.
14. You do not feel happy around him
Yes, he was the one that made all your fluffy romantic dreams come true. You felt like living a daydream when he was around and all you longed for was his company. But now tables have turned and when he is around, you still miss him. You are not happy and you have feelings of discontentment around him.
15. You guys are never on the same page
Having different set of goals is a thing but that can co-exist with a level of maturity and assurance for each other. But always opposing each other, whether it is for going on a trip or getting a pet home or perhaps cooking at home or ordering food from outside, you are never on the same page.
These were the fifteen common and prominent signs that happen in any relationship that has landed up in a one sided love zone. It is time you rethink and understand where your relationship is going and what you want from it before you get into serious emotional imbalance. One sided relationships often leads to loss of self-esteem and confidence, so don’t let it affect you and take charge of the situation immediately.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.