You meet someone, you fall in love, you let the love grow for years, you commit, you marry and that’s how mostly how the love stories roll. But right before the marriage part, there is an important occasion where most lovers tend to fail and never really reach to the ceremony part. It is the day when you finally get officially introduced to your partner’s parents. Oh yes! I am talking about that first meeting with your partner’s parents. Here are a set of things you just cannot afford to not consider if you too are all set for that much awaited meeting with your partner’s parents. Here we go!
DONT SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED
Good manners and civility isn’t dead and that is one good enough reason to not show up at your partner’s place empty handed. Isn’t it? Make sure that you buy a thoughtful gift when you are first visiting as it would be rude to not greet them with some courteous action. So, indulge in some discussion with your partner and think what would be the right gift and go shopping. Showing empty handed will spoil your first impression and you might not be able to cover up afterwards. Remember, first impression is usually the last impression in such sensitive case of meetings.
FOLLOW THE DRESS CODE
Don’t feel liberated to put on your pajamas or ripped jeans to the most important meeting of your life. You have to keep it formal, if not completely, at least slightly. This doesn’t mean you have to appear in tuxedos but do some homework and find out what is usually the dress code at his place and dress up accordingly. Follow the dress code and look sharp and decent. Don’t wear clothes that are too short or revealing straight up at the first meet. This might give up an impression that you are not quite serious about the meet and will be putting up a casual and careless attitude.
FLATTER HIS MOM’S GOOD TASTE
At the table, politely make some pleasant comments praising the cooking techniques of his mom and try to flatter her good taste. Don’t just keep it limited to the dinner table, you can do some sweet talk about the interiors of the house or the garden or maybe even her shoes or hairstyle. A little flattery is not going to harm anyway but please make sure you don’t make it intentional as that may appear like you are trying too hard to impress them.
BOND WITH HIS SIBLINGS
This is the arena that is going to get you brownie points. If you are going to be liked by his siblings, they are going to take the talk forward. Make sure that you take interest in their doings and try and be friendly with them. This is going to leave an impression that you are likeable and easy to bond with. His siblings are going to be in praises for you and it will be a thumbs up from their side.
CUT BACK THE PDA
No parent will be okay with PDA at the first meet. It is also ill mannered to indulge in the cuddling and kissing while his parents are around as they might feel disrespected. There is a certain decorum that you must maintain while turning up to them for the first time and PDA while they are around might upset them. The meet is about you and them, hence they need to feel that you are there for them. So cut back on the PDA.
TELL THEM HOW GREAT THEIR SON IS
You are there for them but the main reason why you are there for them is their son. Right? So obviously they want a little show on how you feel about him and they sure want to know the love you have for him. So tell them how great their son is and why you fell in love with him at the first place. When you are praising his son, you are praising their upbringing and morals they have bestowed in him. So, indirectly you are showing your appreciation for them.
Don’t just sit back and gaze at the interiors. Get up and offer help. While the lunch or dinner table is being arranged, ask how you can be at service for them. This will reflect sincerity and initiative.
DONT FORGET YOUR MANNERS
Don’t forget that the first meeting with your partner’s parents is all about scoring on your manners. So make sure that you do not forget your manners at any point and are always keeping it up.
DONT BEHAVE LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
Even if you do know everything, don’t make it obvious. Be a patient listener and put your suggestion or opinions forward only when very much needed or asked for. If you think your vastness of knowledge is going to impress them , then you are wrong. It will simply be judged as bragging and will leave a negative impact on them.
DON’T START TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS
You are there to spend some good pleasant time with them. So, please don’t ruin the first meet by listing your problems and revealing the shade of you that is upset and emotionally struggling. Your happy and cheerful nature is what is going to make your likeable.
DON’T TALK ABOUT POLITICAL OR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS
Politics and religion are two topics that you must refrain discussing from as they highly sensitive and sentimental. So keep yourself away from talking politics or religion and even if there is a discussion on any such issue, be a listener rather than being vocal about your beliefs.
DONT BE FAKE NICE
The idea is not to present a whole new version of you by faking everything. Not at all! It is simply cutting down on a few things for the first meet as that is the right thing to do. So do not fake niceness as it is easily identifiable and once caught everything that you do is tagged as fake and deceptive. Be the original version of you and be good to them naturally. Don’t try too hard that you end up being judged as a hypocrite.
ABIDE BY THE FAMILY RULES
Every family has certain rules. Make sure you abide his family’s rules. They may notice small things. For instance, if his family has a rule of removing the shoes outside the door, then you simply cannot afford to miss such things.
DONT BE HIGH MAINTENANCE
Be negotiable. Don’t be high maintenance and unapproachable. This is the worst thing to do on the meeting as it will be a complete turn off for his family and they will straight away think you are a misfit among them.
Just like it is the most important thing professionally, so does it has its impacts on personal lives as well. Be on time. Don’t show up an hour early, that is not being punctual. Be on the given time. Showing up late will be interpreted as laid back and inconsiderate.
DON’T DRINK AND SHOW UP
Some people think that it is a fairly good idea to drink and show up as that might bring the best in you and you will also be stress free and in a happy zone. This usually turns out to be a major fail as you end up overdoing thing and once they get to know that you have come to meet them after a couple of shots of vodka, game over for you my friend.
You two have put in a lot of efforts to be with each other and have gone through several ups and downs to think of getting married to each other which is why you are taking the first step of getting to meet each other’s parents. So why take a backseat by ignoring the fifteen crucially important things you require to nail that first meeting? Keep all of those in mind and follow them to get positive feedbacks from his family.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.