An individual’s personality traits, views about society and marriage and interpersonal skills affect their approach toward marriage. Research worker Jeffery H. Larsen, who proclaims in his brochure for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, that, a successful marriage bases itself on a marriage triangle which constitutes of the traits of an individual, the traits of a couple and the context of a relationship.
Pre-marital counselling will only help a couple understand and complement each other as partners and as individuals.
ADJUSTS OUR VIEW TOWARDS LIFE WHICH AFFECTS OUR VIEW TOWARDS MARRIAGE
In a relationship, expectations aren’t everything that is to be dealt with but expectations and the fulfilment of the expectations in fact affect everything else in the relationship, either in a positive or a negative way. Marriage counselling will help in adjusting one’s expectations by bringing into focus that which constitutes proper expectation and that which does not. When two people want to make a relationship work with an earnest interest then they must learn as to how they can contribute towards a cordial relationship by simply working upon one’s level and sort of expectations from one another.
HELPS US UNDERSTAND OUR IDENTITY AS INDIVIDUALS AND AS A COUPLE
One of the most important things in a marriage is to maintain the identity of the marriage partners as individuals and identity as a couple. An individual’s identity grows out of an individual’s experiences in life which then will mould one’s approach towards one’s marital relationship. A marriage counselling will help one identify their strengths and weaknesses so that they can work on those in order to advance a good relationship with their partner, and maintain a healthy bond because one’s identity as an individual will influence one’s identity as a part of a couple.
PROVIDES FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO PLAN LIFE TOGETHER
Marriage counselling will lay out a plan for couples, defining strategies to solve problems that arise in a marriage. It not only helps in adjusting the expectations of individuals but also offers for recuperation for a failure of the fulfilment of expectations, those which are extravagant and also those which are absolutely needful. It will help in overcoming the stigma and pain by teaching one to create and depend on the fulfilment of a different set of expectations that could act as compensation, almost like a backup plan for when the expected doesn’t take place. This kind of a preparation from beforehand will help in reducing stress when actual issues arise in the marriage or when it hits a point of crisis.
TEACHES US TO INFER THE LANGUAGE OF MARRIAGE
A marital relationship provides for a whole new dimension of living for individuals who are now prepared to live as couples, day in and day out of their lives, subjecting oneself to compromise and sacrifice for the betterment of the relationship. A premarital counselling will only help a couple understand the mechanisms of marriage better. There are specific languages of love that the ones in love will have been acquainted with before marriage but the ones who are yet to fall in love with their partners will aid themselves in attaining an enriching marital experience if they allow themselves to be students to the lessons on the languages of love and marriage that a premarital counselling will impart.
I would suggest every couple to try and appear for counselling sessions before marriage to understand each other’s roles as a couple and help each other to maintain and strengthen the bond. Wishing you all a very happy wedlock!