Love is both intricate and beautiful at the same time. Sometimes it makes us feel like the luckiest person in the world and sometimes it makes our lives thorny and challenging. Now, imagine falling in love with a person who already has a child. This can be a totally different ball game as you will have to enter serious zones knowing fully well. But hey! Love is meant to be like that. Here is how you can make such relationships easier and your decisions wiser.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY?
Relationship come with responsibilities but relationship with a man who already has a child comes with double responsibilities. Ask yourself if you are ready to go for it. The child is always going to be his priority and you too will have to make him one whether you like the child or not. Be absolutely sure if you want to embark on this relationship as the child is important and you have to be fair with the man about this.
ARE YOU READY TO BE THE SECOND PRIORITY?
It is important that you know that his child will always be his first priority. If you are ready to share the love he has to offer to you after his child then only embark on this journey. You will have to go through days when he will cancel plans with you or probably walk out in the middle of your date because his daughter feels ill. Such situations usually make a person sulky but in your case this won’t help. If you are willing to be flexible, then go ahead. After all, giving the child primary priority is a magnificent trait of good man.
ARE YOU READY TO TAKE THINGS SLOW?
This relationship would require slow movement. You cannot rush things. Don’t expect that his children would accept you in the first meet or that you guys will turn into great buddies. Well! If you do, consider yourself lucky but generally things take time to build up. Never insist the man on meeting the children as early as possible. Firstly, build up the bond between the two, get comfortable and then take the step. You will have to go on several lunches and walks to eventually connect wires with the children. Remember that the day they realize that you are not there to replace their mom, instead you trying to build a new bond, they will like you.
ARE YOU WILLING TO ACCEPT HIS EX –WIFE?
Not only are the man and his kids going to be a part of his life. It is also, his ex-wife. In order to remain stress free and be in an environment that offers peace, you have to maintain cordial relationship with his ex-wife. She will always be a part of the children’s life and if you don’t have a fair bond with her, it might ignite stressful circumstances. To ensure peaceful relationship, know your boundaries and do your best to take care of the children.
Do not panic on knowing that the interesting man you fell in love with has a child. The relationship can be extremely demanding but it isn’t something impossible. The success of such a relationship will depend upon your decisions and perspectives. Do not settle or compromise if your will doesn’t allow as then it will be unfair for him, his kids and you, fore mostly!
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.