Relationships are confusing to many. Not because they are difficult but because we make the wrong decisions at the wrong time which gives us a lot of heartaches and makes trusting people so much harder in the future. Now just because you have had a number of failed relationships, you shouldn’t demonise the entire idea of love. What makes successful relationships differ from the ones that are prone to breakups is the fact that the former is based on more rational decisions. Yes, love make you turn blind and even deaf but if you are true to your conscience and stay rational, you will have a much better decision making ability than others who are solely driven by their emotions. If you are aware of a few basic rules while choosing a partner, relationships can become way more easier that you had ever thought. You can be in a new relationship or an old one or even single, but these rules will help you navigate so much easily and effortlessly in relationships that you will definitely thank us later.
Enter a relationship where the feelings are mutual:
While this may sound like the most obvious thing to do. But in reality, people don’t really do that all the time. We like someone and get so smitten that we don’t even analyse what the other person may be feeling for us before we give ourselves all into a wishful scenario that we brand as “love”. We forcibly have ourselves believe that this person loves us back and hence follows a blind chase which is bound to lead to heartaches. If you like a man but that person has never ever labelled you his girlfriend for reasons best known to him, never get yourself into that trap. No matter what kind of reasons he wants you to believe, don’t defend him and hurt yourself in the process because you will be swayed by these emotional dramas that will follow and be taken advantage of. If he really is into you, he will make every damn effort to make that known. He will give you are concrete status in his life and never keep you hanging and wishing and staying confused about his behaviour. Getting hurt once is fine but not each day of your life for someone who isn’t really invested in you.
You need to feel better about yourself when you are with your partner
So, many of us have been in relationships that are self- destructive. Love consumes us so much that we don’t really realise what these blinded feelings do to our core self. There are so many instances where women feel cheated, trapped, side kicked and even disrespected every day. Being manipulated is something that almost all of us have felt in wrong relationships that we have let ourselves enter into. A relationship should be your greatest strength and you partner your greatest ally. If you repeatedly have to tell him how bad you feel and where things are going wrong and he takes no initiative to make you feel better despite all your selfless love, then this relationship will never do anything good for you. You need to become happier each day when you are in a relationship and instead of draining you it should be your energy booster. If your relationships doesn’t give you the slightest hint of the picture that I am trying to show here, then it is better to get out of it.
You shouldn’t criticise your partner for every little thing that doesn’t happen your way
Relationships comprise of two people who agree to stay together and be there for each other. It is not a quick solution to the problems that you had before. You partner isn’t your slave who is here to please you. Both of you will make mistakes and you will grow by learning from them. You are equals and one should never think of himself/herself as the final decision maker everywhere. If you repeatedly tell your man that he is wrong or what he should be doing ideally to pleaser you, you set the wrong tone for things to happen because you hurt a person’s ego by pointing his flaws. Never magnify your partner’s flaws, rather point out the best so that he is motivated to do better.
Don’t settle for anything just because you fear staying alone
We often get so fearful of dying all alone that we try and settle for whatever comes our way. Have some standards and let a man fulfill those before you finally say a yes. Be the one that he would chase to have and work hard for. when you settle for anything substandard, you let the man take advantage of you and stay in control. Ask yourself if you really are attracted to him. If given a better choice would you still choose him? These questions will be an eye opener. Listen to your heart put yourself first before committing to anyone.