One of the major issues of the 21st century is the total lack of deep meaningful relationships. ‘The fast food generation’ as we have been named or the better one ‘the millennials’; we are a generation that receives everything at the touch of our fingers. You want food order online, you want new outfits go order online, you wanna watch a movie; Netflix it. What this generation has lost due to easy availability is patience; which is a very important ingredient in creating deep meaningful relationships. With that comes the social media; where we get to see our friends getting into new relationships, posting pictures with their partners, updating romantic getaways and we start to build a complete set of ideas of how our partner should behave with us. So when we get into a relationship we are already having a checklist he/she needs to fulfill to be a good partner. All this does is it drives people away and we search for the next one who could fill their place never truly finding a meaningful relationship. That’s where being unattached comes to help us. Unattached doesn’t mean that you leave the person away and don’t bother them. It means that you have to leave any preconceived notions about how your relationship should be. So here are some reasons why being unattached is a gift for your relationship.
It helps you to avoid unrealistic expectations
All the social media display of affection leaves us expecting unrealistic things from our partners. We need to understand that every person is different and has his or her way of expressing their love. When you are unattached you let your partner show his or her affection in ways they are comfortable with. In this way not only they would be happy but you would also see new aspects of them as you proceed in your relationship. This way you will also be able to move on from the past you had with other people.
It helps you build trust
When someone is unattached they let the other person be themselves and show their affection in the way they know. They don’t compare that to their past relationships or their idea of perfection. This shows your partner that no matter what happened in the past you are letting them start over. You are opening a new chapter in your life with them. This responsibility helps them to share their life with you without any fear or guilt. This would not only help them trust you but also let you trust them with your life too.
It doesn’t let your past trouble your present
We have been unable to separate the past, present and future from each other all our life. We always let our past meddle with our present and our plans for the future. We let it confuse us, scare us or belittle us whenever we try to find happiness. The constant banter about the past would make your partner restless as the days go by. You think they should be with you in thick and thin; they do but this is something which is gone and you are stuck there. No matter how hard they try you never see the present. If you are unattached you have accepted the fact that my new relationship has nothing to do with my past relationships and that lets you see your new partner in a new light. So go ahead, don’t let your past trouble your present.
It helps you to stop seeking approval
The number of likes, the number of followers, the number of friends have led this generation into an obsession. The obsession is approval of total strangers who know nothing about your life. This has led to fall of some of the finest relationships. The one thing being unattached helps you is to learn to live your life completely as yours. You don’t seek approval of anyone, not even your partner. When this fear leaves it helps you to be unapologetically yourself and not to fake anything to impress anyone. The relationship we build this way will stand the test of time.
It teaches you to love freely
Fear is the one thing that can destroy almost everything you have in life. If you are attached to your notions, to your past you will always be in fear. This fear would blind you to the love you could have had. Once you learn to be unattached in a relationship you stop finding a particular kind of love. You stop idealizing a love that you saw or read about. You just share the love that comes to you naturally. You learn to give love freely without any huge expectations.
A mechanical engineer by morning and a writer by night Sagar puts everything he feels into words. A sappy romantic, as his friends call him, Sagar has a unique way of making heartbreak seem beautiful and find hope in tragedy. The 24-year-old writer wishes to get published someday and live a life as a storyteller. He started writing at the age of 21 and grown into a beloved writer in the Instagram community. You can find him on Instagram under the name the_wandering_writer and on Facebook at the wandering writer. He’s working on his first novel currently.