Are you one of those who have faced the pangs of one sided love only to be even more heartbroken to watch your love walk away with someone else who you know for a fact couldn’t love them any better than you?
A lot of us have been in your position at least once in our lives and it is indeed a very difficult phase to get through. However we have showed strength in moving on and learning to live a life without the one for whom we could’ve traded anything to spend our lives with.
This article will show you to accept and move ahead in 5 significant ways
Such as these:
UNDERSTAND THAT FEELINGS DON’T LAST FOREVER
It is absolutely shattering to see your love walk away with someone else despite their constant reassurance to you about how they don’t want a relationship and why they don’t want one; various reasons they gave you for not loving you and you loved them regardless. You loved them because of their honesty, you loved them because you wanted to change their mind, and you loved them because you thought they were afraid of taking the plunge, because you believed and desperately hoped that they would ultimately realise their own feelings for you.
You stayed strong and consistent only to be surprised at them walk past you hand in hand with somebody else.
You couldn’t believe your eyes. You blamed your love for being so cruel and then you blamed yourself for holding on to a false hope when they had already said “no” right to your face!
It’s not their fault is it? But it isn’t your fault either. Hope keeps us going. We like to hope for things to fall in place exactly the way we’d like things to, until we come face to face with the harsh realities of life that completely alter our opinions and each time we are disappointed, we come out of that disappointment with a whole new life changing experience.
Considering all of these emotions that are running through your mind right now and will indefinitely run through your mind for sometime henceforth, you need to understand that feelings don’t last forever. You will get over them if you learn to look for your happiness in whatever be it. Live your life, because it’s yours to live. Give yourself chances even if your favourite choice for the moment doesn’t come to you. It’s alright. Focus on your life and on those things/people that make you happy and in no time you will get over what brings to you pain.
DON’T LET YOUR MIND WANDER AND ASSUME TOO MUCH
When this person doesn’t reciprocate your love but much to your surprise, somebody else’s, and you wonder as to how you fell short. Even after feeling for them so passionately how could you have not stirred any emotion in them?
So that, when you see them walking away with somebody else you think to yourself that you aren’t worthy as a person or you wish you had gone farther in showing them how much you cared.
Believe me; you are accusing yourself for nothing.
Neither are you unworthy of them nor did you fall short at expressing your love. It is just that they didn’t feel for you the way you felt for them.
Love and attraction isn’t a product of intensive calculation and a critical analysis of a person’s characteristics. Rather, it is always uncalled for. Attraction can’t be forced, it is involuntary and just because somebody isn’t attracted to you in the way you are to them, it doesn’t mean you’re lacking in essential qualities. It simply means that they didn’t find in you what they were unconsciously looking for all along.
Sometimes we will experience how our close ones in spite of understanding our superior love for them in comparison to the one’s whom they adore, are unable to reciprocate, only because love and attraction can’t be forced.
Now there are some who like to choose those who love them over whom they love to spend the rest of their lives with (that however is a calculative decision) but most will choose the ones they love over the ones who love them, uncontrollably pursuing the trigger to their attraction.
FOCUSING ON YOUR LOST LOVE STOPS YOU FROM MEETING SOMEONE NEW
Don’t linger on lost hope. Learn to move ahead and build new hopes. Strive to feed the new hopes you build by giving your life a chance.
How happy your love is with their love, how wonderfully they are making themselves vulnerable to the one they love and how jealous it is making you feel. How jealous you feel about the person who has all of that you had once madly hoped to have as your own. How lucky they are and how sorry you feel for yourself – these are self demeaning and de-motivating thoughts that prevent you from living your life to the fullest just for yourself.
You forget that your motive in life is not to run after the option that slips out of your hand but to allow other options to enter into your life out of which you make your next choice.
They say “don’t cry over spilt milk”. What’s not yours shall never be, hence don’t waste time mourning its absence when you can fill your life with the plenitudes of a most wonderful presence, you are unaware of until the time you decide to quit lingering in the past.
WHAT’S MEANT TO BE WILL BE
Trying to manipulate our destiny with regards to who shall and who shall not stay in our lives is futile, because you can’t capture and keep by force something or someone that/who is not meant for you.
The simplest thing is to continue pursuing what we love and accepting life as it comes our way. If we are robbed of a certain person we love or let’s say if certain person decides to walk out of our lives, we will have to look for contentment in someone else who will wish to stay. Instead of keeping alive a false hope in our hearts, we must move with the flow and make the best of whatever falls in our path as we keep moving forward.
If someone has to come back, they will. If someone has to leave they will, making way for better things to cross our paths. So, nothing should stop us from moving ahead in life.
QUESTION YOUR CURRENT SITUATION WITH REGARD TO THIS PERSON
Sit and have an honest conversation with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:
What is it that you like so much about this person?
Is it worth distressing yourself about?
Do you think distressing yourself will bring them back to you?
Do you realise you might have a better chance with somebody else?
…And you are restraining yourself from meeting them?
Do you think you are punishing yourself for no fault of yours?
Do you think you have the right to be happy?
These are a few pertinent questions you must ask yourself. Let then the answers guide you into choosing to walk on a more fulfilling path in life.
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