It is rightly said that it is better to be alone and feel lonely than be with someone and feel the same way. There is a major difference between being alone and lonely. Alone is a voluntary state where we might be content at heart or fulfilled but loneliness is a helpless feeling. The reason why we go into a relationship is to be protected from the feeling of loneliness. Relationships should make one feel complete and if you do not then it is certain that things not right in it. Your relationship does have some major issue if you feel isolated. Here is how you should make peace with the situation.
One of the trouble trap people create for themselves in a relationship is to be completely dwelling on their partner’s support for emotional gratification. It is important that you give yourself enough attention just as much as you expect your partner’s. Some things your partner will never be able to provide you and you will have to indulge in yourself and introspect about it.
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
Yes, the ego won’t let you do that but think is it actually worth to further into a shell? If you do not approach your partner and emote, then the distance will only get farther. It isn’t going to resolve a single thing if you are going to be in a chasm. Even if your partner is at fault, make the first attempt. Start easing out by asking him simple things like how was your day at work or perhaps discuss any current news or simply offer him a late night coffee. Give him a hug or a peck when he leaves for office in the morning. If you think that you are at fault and you have been shutting down for him, then go upright and apologize.
It is very hard to brush away relationship problems until and unless the partners timely express their emotions towards each other and communicate properly. Hence, ensure that there is open communication and both of you are honest. If you are feeling lonely, voice your thoughts and express why you feel lonely. There are chances that your partner will understand and you two can tackle the whole issue. If you are not a vocal person, then write to him about your feelings. Email and texts can also prove to be very helpful but choose the right words that are not offensive or provoke a fight.
START MAKING PLANS
This issue mostly erupts when couples don’t spend enough time together. Although it is understood that the modern day routines are pretty hectic and tiresome but that is no reason to ignore your relationships. If the weekends are off, plan a short trip or go for a date but make sure you spend quality time together. This will help you guys create more memories and will open up space for communication as you will have enough incidences and topics to discuss.
An empty mind is a devils mind. Loneliness in a relationship can also occur if you aren’t occupied at all and your partner is. Your partner cannot be giving you all his time and it is unfair to expect so from him. Take up an activity or explore your areas of interest and get yourself busy. This will help you evade deserted thoughts and will help you find purpose in life. It is important to be productive and resourceful to make peace with the silent ghost.
These were few mantras that will help you to deal with loneliness in a relationship. Abide by it and you will see visible changes in your relationship atmosphere.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.