Hitting the sack with someone without commitment is not unheard of as it was before. So is post hook-up regret. The guilt of casual sex is faced more by women, mostly because of morals instilled in women right from a young age.
It is important to sort out whether you are feeling bad because of society’s beliefs or your own. The feeling won’t last long whatsoever it is. The ickiness is going to pass. You just have to let it pass. Give yourself some time.
Some ways you can get over the regret are
Figure out why you feel bad about it
The first thing you ought to do is ask yourself why you feel so. Is it because of the person you did it with? Is it because you are thinking about what people would say? Or is it because you felt you were making a walk of shame? Confrontation with yourself will give you heads on as to what the guilt is actually about.
Self-evaluate and keep this in mind to not repeat the same mistake again. If you find out that wham-bam-thank you, mam, is actually not your cup of tea then regret not because you just learned a new thing about yourself.
Don’t blame yourself
Guilt blinds us so much that we forget that we are human. We make mistakes and we learn from them. Blaming yourself won’t make you feel any better. So do yourself a favor and stop beating up yourself. Accept the fact that you did it. Yes, you did it because it felt right at that time.
Talk it out with friend(s)
We often feel unburdened when we vocalize our feelings. If you really are not able to let it go then call up your friends. Talk to them about how guilty you still feel. Trust me when you have belief on someone, even a small empathetic word from them makes us feel light. Just let it out. It will help you move on.
You don’t owe anything to anyone
If you feel like you’ll be judged for what you did. Then don’t confide in anyone. Keep it as your own secret. Well, it’s your life and you don’t owe anything to anyone. It’s not like you are the first to do it anyway. Be happy with yourself. Chuck away the guilt. You would rather feel guilty after doing it instead of desiring it and feeling guilty for not doing it when you had an opportunity. At least you fulfilled your wish, isn’t it a plus point?
Remember, life goes on
Don’t waste time by fretting over something that is already over. Remember time and tide waits for none! While you regret over something, you are missing out on the fun. So get a shower and go out. Do something that cheers you up.
These decisions are pretty much complicated to wade through. Take a lot of care and consider the pros and cons while going for it. If the opportunity ever comes up and you don’t want to be just a new notch in his belt then make it clear to him that you are not interested. You do not owe anything to anyone.
Know what you want. If you still feel like hooking up then go for it. But if you think it’s not for you then don’t. Simple. Stop second guessing it. Don’t let people rule your life. You get to choose what you ought to do and what you don’t. You’re in control!
Have you dealt with post hook up regret? Let us know how you did it in the comments below!
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.