Do you feel that your boyfriend has trust issues? Do you do everything possible at your end to keep the relationship stable, but he still finds it difficult to trust you? It is he who has the problem, not you. It can be very difficult to handle someone who cannot trust you. Not only does the relationship go haywire, but you seem to lose your sanity as well.
Trust is the very basis of a relationship. If you can’t trust, you can’t love. If he is on a constant lookout for your whereabouts, stalks you not just in real life but virtually as well, he doesn’t trust you.
He suffers from insecurity:
Insecure personalities are always conscious of how they come across to other people. When he is not confident of himself, he will repeatedly feel you don’t find him good enough. He will continuously find clues that confirm his doubts against you. Insecure people are very difficult to be with. They can’t seem to handle relationships. This is not just true about their romantic one but also their friendships and also in the family.
He never expected to have someone as good as you:
He knows the fact that you are way ahead of him. He notices that people seem to like you very easily. It is not difficult for him to see that you can have just about anyone. This increases his insecurity and he feels like some day he will wake up and you will be nowhere to be found. The fact that he over thinks his shortcomings, he feels quite confused about you choosing him in the first place. That is the thought of someone else taking you away from him haunts him all the time.
Someone cheated on him before/ He cheated before
Being cheated on is very hard to deal with. Some people can just never get out of it. In fact, it scars them for life and they lose all the trust forever. Unless you can really convince him not through words alone, but your actions and he really sees it for himself, he will find it difficult to trust you. This is not your fault nor should you feel guilty about anything. Just leave it on him to decide. You can’t force him here to trust you. If he can, he will.
When he is aware of the fact that he cheats, he feels that it is quite normal for people to cheat on each other. Since he does, he quite conveniently convince himself that you do the same as well. That if it is easier for him, it is easier for everyone else. This is why he stalks you as he is suspicious of what you do.
He must have had a troubled childhood
Trust issues have deeper connections. They usually stem from past experiences especially if this guy has dealt with trust issues in the family. His parents might have separated or either of them wronged the other. Children tend to remember all the hard memories of the past. He must be feeling over protective about his feelings just because he is aware of how trust broken can prove disastrous. Speak with him about it. Encourage him to visit a counselor subtly if you really want to help him.
You got caught lying
It takes years to build a strong foundation based on trust but seconds to demolish it. Did you ever lie to him about something and got caught? You may have felt that it doesn’t really bothered him but it did. A part of him couldn’t handle being lied to. It did give him reasons to believe that you aren’t trust worthy and that just because you lied once, you may have possibly lied in the past as well.
You are being cheated on
There are chances that your boyfriend must be cheating on you. Psychology says that when people wrong others, they have a tendency to mistrust others as well. He tries to convince himself that dumping all the blame on you will make him feel better about himself. This makes it easier for him to confront himself as well as stay away from guilt as long he keeps blaming you for every little thing that you do.
Building trust takes time and expecting someone to trust you when you haven’t ever made an effort in that end isn’t right. Leave it to the person to decide if he has to trust you or not. Just let it be and wait for them to work it out themselves. Mistrust is detrimental to the relationship. Most of the future issues will become deeper and difficult to resolve if your relationship lacks trust. If that’s taking a toll on you, step back, think and act on what makes you happy.