There could be various reasons as to why a man who shows interest in you will disappear and reappear much to your surprise, only to repeat his antics until you get so frustrated and perplexed to the extent that you end up searching frantically on the internet the reasons to such behaviour and that is when you stumble upon an article such as this.
You will find the possible answers to your great confusion here.
But I will also tell you that a man who causes you such frustration and confusion about your position in his life isn’t worth your time and effort. You are worth better. Things shouldn’t be so difficult in terms of a relationship (any kind of relationship be it)
Your position in his life should be as clear as glass; there shouldn’t be any place for insecurity – that is what a true relationship bases itself on.
HE COULD BE DATING MORE THAN ONE PERSON SIMULTANEOUSLY
The reason why he’ll disappear is because he will have found somebody new to spend quality time with. Or perhaps he will just be going back to his old flame whom he has missed over the time he has been spending with you especially now that she looks hotter than ever.
A lot of men and not only men but even women route toward multi dating which means when a person is romantically/physically/emotionally involved with more than one person at a time and this is pretty common in today’s generation given the fact that we all love to take the plunge so soon that no sooner than we take the plunge we get bored.
This is when we draw inspiration from the other options we have in hand, because just as they say “the grass is always greener on the other side”.
After a period of detachment from someone, said person becomes more attractive to us compared to who we are spending time with at present, so we ignore our present fling for the time being until we get bored of the other flings enough to come back to the present fling in hope that they will be more interesting.
HE IS BUSY WITH OTHER STUFF AND YOU ARE NOT HIS HIGHEST PRIORITY
For a man who is a social butterfly, and whose priorities rest in other things such as friends, family and work time will be the biggest leisure that he will be able to afford to a woman.
If he has decided to not get into a relationship then there is a valid reason. He is telling you he can’t commit and will only come along when he is available, which justifies the sudden disappearance post a fulfilling time spent together.
However you should never take this man’s reappearance as a sign of his extensive interest in you. You don’t cross his mind all the time. It is when his mind was idle that random names came into his head and you happened to be one among those random names and also one among those random females he messaged or called.
So just because he reappears doesn’t mean that his disappearances don’t stand true any longer so that you should forget completely about the possibility of him disappearing only to be disappointed once again.
You can keep in touch with a man like this at your own risk.
HE HAS ATTACHMENT ISSUES AND IS COMMITMENT PHOBIC
Men and women alike these days run a mile away from relationships. They are afraid of losing out on their sense of freedom (being able to stay out till late, being able to fulfil sexual desires with multiple partners they are attracted to, not being answerable to anybody for their deeds, being able to do as they please without fearing rebuke and getting to mingle with new people every now and then) which they associate with singlehood.
With a relationship comes several responsibilities, which include not only taking into consideration your own desires while making a decision but also considering your partner’s desires and this is the responsibility people in our generation have an aversion to.
So he will disappear if he realises that the bond you both share has the potential of budding into a committed relationship and reappear only when you have started to ignore him so that he begins to feel the absence of your most fulfilling presence only to disappear again in order to protect himself from any kind of mental distress.
He could be afraid of getting hurt, afraid of having to invest too much emotionally and having to take the responsibility of a committed relationship on his shoulders when he already has so much on his plate to take care of. He just may not be willing to give anything at all, because he is afraid of losing what is of value to him.
HE DOESN’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP SO HE KEEPS THINGS HANGING
It could be that he doesn’t want to let go of you because even though he is interested in you, he doesn’t want a relationship. So he will keep you hanging.
He will be available once and then pull a disappearing act on you to reappear again in order to make sure that you haven’t forgotten him and are ready to validate him as and when he wishes to come around.
If you let him come around whenever he feels like then he will take your leniency for granted only to keep disappearing and reappearing in intervals when he feels it right.
HE IS NOT SURE HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU
He may want to be in a relationship with you one day and decide against it the next day only because he is unsure about how he feels for you.
Which is why on one day he’ll tell you how he wants to drive around town with you and on the next day he will disappear into thin air, only to realise sometime soon that you’re the kind of girl he would actually want to end up with and so he’d reappear to repeat the same sequence over and over again.
The fact that he is unsure about you must give you reason enough to not hope for his commitment because he isn’t settled in his head about what he actually wants from you and this is even more scary than telling you on your face that you’re an option to him and that he isn’t looking to commit to you.
You shouldn’t keep hoping and waiting just because he is unsure. You need to move ahead and give yourself a chance with somebody else.
HE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU
The most viable reason could be that after having spent a certain stretch of time with you, he has realised that you are not the one for him.
Attraction can’t be forced just as I have mentioned in one of my other posts about what to do when your love likes someone else. Attraction is involuntary and it is when the man realises that he isn’t really attracted to you is when he decides to disappear just because he doesn’t want to hurt you by confronting you with the truth.
He will reappear only to show some kindness, and this happens rarely on occasions. On more occasions he will simply disappear and not show up again to avoid any kind of emotional conflict that he fears he might get entangled in.
Lots of love to you and may best wishes be on your relationship with first, yourself followed by your relationship with another who knows how to value you.
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