Ghosting is a real phenomenon and it is nowhere related to a real ghost. Ghosting is a really unpleasant thing that people do in a relationship. Ghosting refers to the act of ending a relationship suddenly without saying it upfront and withdrawing the communication with the other person. It is really a pesky way to end a relationship. Deciding to end a relationship without being honest about it to the other person is not fair to the other person.
This is the most common phenomenon that has been seen in dating in this century. If you have active dating life than there’s a solid chance you have gone through this or have put someone through it. If you have been on the receiving end of ghosting than you know how depressing, disappointing and frustrating it really is.
There are so many ways in which you can break up with someone then why choose to ghost someone? Breaking up is hard, too hard if you are the one breaking up with other and maybe that is the reason why people chicken out at last moment and decide to cut someone off without any communication.
So if you are in a fairly new relationship and you seem to be falling for the other person then pause for a moment, think it through and assess whether the other person feels the same or is he about to bail on you. So here’s a list of few ways that can be fair signals to find out whether the person you are dating is about to go all MIA on you.
He Starts To Bail On You
When you started dating, you both would spend a lot of time together. In fact, he would plan things and surprise you and take you out. He would always be available and give you time. But slowly the meetups and hangouts have been reducing to none. Not only doesn’t he plan things anymore but starts to bail on the plans you made as well. They always have one or the other excuse about their busy schedule. There are times when he just doesn’t agree with any kind of plans you made and sometimes he just doesn’t even bother to cancel the plans you made together. This is sure sign that he is no longer interested in you and is ghosting you.
You might want to continue dating with him but when he doesn’t care enough to show up or even bother to plan things with you then you should let him go.
The Texts Start To Diminish Or Become Short
Not at all surprising, isn’t it? Texts and calls play a major role in a relationship these days. You can easily tell whether someone has seen your text or hasn’t come online at all. It makes it crystal clear when someone is avoiding you. When someone starts ghosting you, you can easily see it in their texts. When you just started dating maybe things were going so good, you two might have had long, memorable conversations with each other. But after few dates, the texts seem to be getting shorter. It is an unofficial way the person is ghosting you.
All their ‘good night’ and ‘good morning’ messages stop coming your way and your ‘good morning’ messages are going unanswered. Your usual routine of texting has also changed and all you get are monosyllabic replies then you should understand that their interest in you is long gone and you should move on too.
You Have Probably Been Warned Before Already
When we start dating someone new, we get so excited that we miss some signs that might be warning bells. It might have come up in your early dates that he is not looking for something serious and you didn’t pay much heed at that time and invested your emotions into this relationship. So before you put all your eggs in one basket make sure that it is what other person wants. If you have always been the one who believes in long relationships and doesn’t do things for time pass then let the other person know. Also, figure out carefully this is what the other person wants. If he is not looking for something serious then it is better for you to safeguard yourself from the heartbreak and not invest so much in the relationship.
People are not really great at communicating about what they are looking for and they take the easy way out by avoiding the other person and disappearing.
You Make Excuses On Their Absence
A lot of times when you have been ghosted, you don’t want to come to terms with it. For you, it is just hard to accept the fact that you have been stood up by the other person. When you start liking someone you just find it hard to point out their mistakes and when they start ignoring you or your texts and bail on you the same thing happens. That is when denial occurs.
Not only denial but you also start making excuses as to why they didn’t do something they were supposed to do. For example, if they do not show up to some event you both agreed to go, you’ll come up with some excuse for their absence. You have to recognize this sign because if he/ she not showing up might mean that he/ she doesn’t want to be seen with you and wants to keep it a casual thing and nothing serious.
Everything Moved Too Fast
When you both met you were attracted to each other like moths to the flame, you just couldn’t keep your hands and thoughts off of each other. There was no waiting done, no games played, no chase etc. Your first date was spent talking with each other and eventually, you even had the best sex. But that was all in the beginning only. You didn’t give each other the time to think it through and just went for it. Maybe things are still the same for you but the other person might be feeling that things moved too fast. They do not know what to make out of it and that is why they decide to take things slow by themselves without communicating with you. Taking things slow is a good thing by all means but it doesn’t spare you from making you feel worse and low for being brushed off just like that. Taking things slow means making the foundation of your relationship stronger so it is good as long as both of you know about this.
Everything On Social Media Seems To Be Pretty Normal
By now you might already be checking up their social media profiles looking for something that might have caused their disinterest in you or something that might have held them up from contacting you but you come up with nothingness. Everything is totally normal in their life. He/ she is pretty much leading their life in a normal way, without you. This must be a sure sign for you indicating that you make no difference in their life and what they had with you is nothing but just a casual fling.
So you see ghosting exists and it pretty much shakes you up. Some people leave a sour taste behind but you must know by now that some people are just not meant for us. But don’t let this abandonment hold you from meeting other people. If you notice these signs then cut them off as soon as you recognize them because the longer they are in your life, the deeper it is going to hurt when they leave you.
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.