Your best friend may have been a male who has recently gotten married to this wonderful woman and is ready to start a new family. Chances are that you might feel left out because you’re so used to spending time with him without having to worry about any sort of constraints from any source.
However once your best male friend gets married you become hesitant in calling him at late hours in the night or dropping in at his place at any time during the day, because you’re worried about being judged. But the good news is you don’t really have to cut contacts with your best bud even after he becomes somebody else’s husband, you can still maintain a healthy friendship with this man.
Here’s how you can:
INCLUDE HIS SPOUSE IN THE FRIENDSHIP
When your friendship with a married man is platonic then there shouldn’t be any difficulties in including his spouse in the friendship. Befriending the spouse creates a mutual trust between them and you so that neither the friendship nor the marriage stands threatened in any way.
UNDERSTAND THAT HE HAS CERTAIN BOUNDARIES
A married man is liable to prioritising his marital relationship before friendship, because his wife becomes his immediate family after marriage. So there are certain boundaries that he will maintain in friendships in order to not cause any harm to his marriage. You must understand and respect these boundaries. Let’s say for instance that earlier you would have your male friend come over to your place at any time during the day provided you needed help with something like fixing the light bulb or relocating furniture but after marriage his availability will naturally diminish, especially at odd hours.
AVOID COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS PARTNER
Do not name call or complain about your friend’s partner to them, because then it will put your friend in a compromising position, as he neither wants to create any kind of issues with you by completely disregarding your opinions nor does he want to be disloyal to his wife and marriage.
REGULATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
You can’t expect him to spend his weekends alone with you like you both used to because he has a family now that forms an important part of his life which requires a lot of his time and attention. He too has a loyalty and responsibility towards his family which he must uphold. Hence, no matter how intimate you both are as friends; you must allow him to fulfil the duty of a good married man. However, you could rather spend your weekend with his family (wife and children) instead and perhaps enjoy a lot more than you would have, alone with him.
PAY HEED TO THIRD PARTY WARNINGS
There are times when you often don’t realise how you end up offending their spouses. For example while you’re out with his him, his family and other friends for lunch and you engage in too much of physical contact while having conversations; this is something that is so natural to you; something that you have been sharing with your friend throughout your school days, without having any kind of romantic intentions but your friend’s wife might be sensitive to such gestures. So if you’re ever told by any of your other friends about certain things that you might be doing wrong unintentionally don’t get defensive, instead understand that your intentions will be misinterpreted which in turn might cause trouble.
HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE OF YOUR OWN
Make new friends; create a social group outside of this newlywed friend of yours and his family, to allow them some private time and space. Get yourself romantically involved with somebody if you don’t have a romantic interest already, so that then, you’ll have a lot to share about with your friend who himself is discovering love and relationships a little bit every day.
So here goes for you a guideline to maintaining a proper friendship with a married man without giving rise offense or criticism.