This article mentions all of the unnatural ways to retort to your insulting husband in order to maintain temporary decorum and peace.
This article will also help you realise as to why it’s absolutely ridiculous to resort to any of these schemes for too long to get along with a toxic human being, be it your husband or whoever.
If that is however what you find yourself doing – resorting to these unnatural schemes for a boundless period of time then it’s time for you to stop trying and walk out! Please don’t subject yourself to mistreatment.
Wherever you are, whoever you are, remember that it’s your life; you have the right to live it for yourself and not for anybody else. You choose what you want for your life. Nobody else does it for you.
No matter how weak, or in need of help another person is, if said person is toxic for you, you shouldn’t be around them.
You must understand that you cannot put yourself into a sorry state in order to be somebody else’s support. Don’t compromise yourself for somebody else especially when they act as parasites that suck out of you to sustain themselves.
You won’t be doing any crime in running after your happiness. Run after your happiness!
In the meantime, following are the schemes you can temporarily opt for to get along with your insulting and mistreating husband:
HAVE A CALMER APPROACH
Don’t retaliate replicating his actions and words. Stay calm. I know it is very difficult to hold yourself back at moments like these when your husband goes on to say anything he likes and you absolutely fail to believe that he can say such hurtful things to you.
Whatever he’ll say will make it seem as though he hates you. It will make you either want to burst out into tears or explode with anger.
But hold on.
I know it hurts, I know you have the right to defend yourself and be angry too, especially with someone this close to you. But you don’t do that. That’s not the right way to handle people like him.
If you are someone who hasn’t been able to walk out on a man like this then you have to mould the situation in your favour by playing such mind games that don’t come naturally to you, just to keep things going to avoid further conflicts and to maintain your own mental peace.
Put your words across to him in a very calm and gentle manner, don’t yell or rebel so that he feels guilty enough to calm down himself.
DO NOT TOLERATE
If responding with calmness doesn’t help and you find that you have to tolerate your husband’s insults day in and day out which even intensifies as the days pass then it is high time you stop looking for ways to get along with him at all and walk out.
There are people who are moved with kindness especially when their reason for anger and frustration is something temporary and not related to you. A little bit of kindness and a calmer approach during times of crisis will make your husband want to respect and love you better.
However there are other people who take your calmness for granted and use it to blame and insult you even further, beginning to believe that you are calm only because you are submissive and accepting of whatever they have to say to you and they are justified in blaming you for all the wrong in their lives as well as yours. These people are toxic and the less you retaliate the more they will pounce on you. These people are ailing and so they are not sympathetic of you. They will want to hurt you to acquire peace with the self.
MAKE USE OF HUMOUR
As difficult as it may seem to have a pleasant face and make a joke as a response to being insulted, it is one of the best ways to divert him and lighten the situation up to release tension.
Humour will help in avoiding any further conflicts. I know how it feels to make a joke even at the expense of being insulted by your own husband but this is again another mind game you could opt for to keep you going.
If he bad mouths and makes an unpleasant face while talking to you then mimic his body language speaking the same words he spoke and laugh it off telling him how stupid he looked while he made that face.
My blood boils while I write this down for you, believe me. I am suggesting to you these tactics not because I urge you to follow them and stick around with a man who makes you have to go through all of this unnatural, self demeaning and crazy behaviour but because I want you to realise how difficult it is to stay with a man like this you endearingly call your husband.
You shouldn’t want to retort to insults, because you shouldn’t be okay with insults in the first place. No matter where, how or whom you shouldn’t subject yourself to toxic treatment.
SIT HIM DOWN FOR A FRANK CONVERSATION
Sit him down and try and have a conversation with him when he is in a better mood. Ask him to listen and not get agitated because there are things you want to share with him and want him to understand.
The chances of this tactic working in your favour are dicey, because most men will in order to defend themselves, run away from the conversation which in an indirect way hold up to him his flaws. He will resort to identifying the source of his bad behaviour to your flaws. The chances of him realising that he has in fact hurt you through his constant insults is dim, because if he had to realise he would’ve realised without your having to point it out to him.
Ignore what he says. You for yourself know that all those things he says to you are not true of you. So don’t let his insults sink in. Pretend as though you didn’t hear anything at all and walk past him.
Begin to ignore him when he argues or fights and insults. This way you will infuriate him even further because he seeks validation and wants you to respond to his insults so that he knows it affects you and it will in turn give him pleasure of having you holding yourself guilty for the mishaps in his life or in both of your lives.
So get back at him by not responding whatsoever!
FIND AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE THE ROOM
This is similar to escaping except you’re only escaping and not leaving.