Before I head on to tell you the ways how you can avoid moving too fast in a relationship, you need to know why moving slow is the best way to go about in a new relationship. You need to let your relationship grow. Just like a plant needs space, so does the person you love. Make sure the man you want to be with ticks all your check boxes before you dive in, in haste.
When you try and move things too fast, it suffocates the other person. That is when they want to free themselves and this where your relationship comes to a breaking point. And trust me if you want to make things work long time, you need to give time to the other person to know you and vice versa.
Go out with him:
By this I mean go out on dates, to shop, travel to places and whatever that gets you out of the house. Avoid watching Netflix and anything that confines you to a room. I say this because its more important to learn how that person is when he is outside, facing the world when you are with him.
Avoid meeting up very often:
This is a mistake you need to avoid at any cost. Just because you may have known him for some time now, that doesn’t mean you have to see him or vice versa almost everyday. Regular meetings will lead to things that must be taken slow. Doing things then becomes a compulsion. Just because you spend more time together that doesn’t mean things will necessarily have to fall in the right place. Keep it very slow. Gradually progress from one meet up a week to more frequent ones.
Demarcate your limits:
Be clear about your expectations and what he can possibly expect from you in advance. Convey that to him as early as you can, in the best way possible. If things take a fast progression, let him know that you are not ready yet. This will flash a clear signal that he needs to slow down. If both of you know your boundaries, it will help you avoid unnecessary pressure to accumulate in the relationship.
Be clear about your wants:
Just don’t jump into a relationship so that you can test his interest in you. Also, if you want to test whether they like you enough, let them know what you are expecting from him. This will build up frustration if you don’t get what you want.
The best way to go about is to tell him what you want. If he feels just the same as you feel about him, then it will be easier to move ahead. When both of you are in the same page, you can avoid rushing into things. In case, your ways are different, then this will also help you know your status in the relationship. You can be in a better position to decide what you really want.
Take a break:
Sometimes, taking a break from someone helps you understand where you truly stand. This will also help you understand how you feel about him and reflect upon his behaviour towards you. When you are with him, you may just avoid noticing very clear signs of his interest or disinterests.
When you are not in touch, you can understand if he craves to be with you or not. This is very important if you want to enter into a new relationship.
Be absolutely sure if you are looking for a relationship:
No matter how good you feel when you are around this man, you should make sure that he is someone you want. Question yourself if you have time for him, if you are ready to tackle all that come about in a relationship. You might be physically attracted to them but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are ready for a relationship. Sleeping with someone is just a part of a relationship and not the relationship in its entirety.
Analyse your feelings for him:
Do you really like them enough? Do you feel like they understand you? Can you handle them? Or do you only think about sex when you think of this person? If you understand that this is all you want, that you seem him in your future, then there’s absolutely no hurry. Take time take its own course and slowly you will realise what’s best for you. Taking things too fast will only ditch you in troubled waters and you may regret meeting the person later in the first place.
Long term relationships work out only with time. It has its own struggles. Make sure you are prepared to deal with it before you hop on to it without much introspection.
Born and brought up in India, Anushree's thoughts have been conditioned by a surrounding diverse in all aspects. She aspires to travel round the world and have a taste of the culture, food and music. Her Masters in Political Science has given her a reality check as to where India stands in enlightening its womenfolk. Writing gives her the freedom to materialize her ideas and allow people to sneak into her mind. She finds it fun and liberating.