A healthy marriage is only as strong as its foundation, for what prevails thereafter is the ongoing care and admiration between the two of you as a husband and wife. This bond, this attachment of a warm fondness is possible only when the base is solidly founded right from the beginning of the relationship. Just like preserving a home requires labor and commitment, so does marriage in all its aspects. But once respect, promise, love and devotion fills up the remaining gaps each phases of your life will be seen as walking through a primrose path. No one can deny the fact, that it is actually very important to be expressive and candid towards one another. While there are conversations which can bring you both closer and engage into an intimate moment, there are also few sudden remarks which might hurt the sentiments of your spouse.
This kind of a situation should not be neglected because at the end it will result into a damaged relationship. You must work carefully and ardently to bring in a proper shape to a societal institution like marriage, by fixing the destroyed places and strengthening each other’s fragile traits. Hence, for a marriage to be fruitful you need to avoid speaking on certain topics with your spouse neither right after your wedding nor on any of the specified days. Before you regret suffering in the long run, scroll down through these points listed below to avoid using such discussions for a blissful matrimonial life.
LIST OF THE MATERIALISTIC EXPENSES INCURRED ON THE WEDDING CEREMONY
It is a general truth that marriage is inversely correlatedwith the amount spent on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony. But then you do not have to discuss on this topic neither after your marriage nor on any of the further days. It is indeed a bad idea to speak on finance and the expenditure incurred on the materialistic expenses. Discussion on money matters often leads to annoyance and anxiety in almost nine out of the ten couples. So, why would you dare to undertake the risk and create tension into the newly wedded relationship? On the other hand, taking stress about wedding related debt, will not only make your partner feel uncomfortable but also embarrassed. Hence, having a discussion regarding who has spent how much expenses on the wedding day is something you should never have a talk over. Always remember that at the end, your marriage ceremony was a delightful and pleasing affair, and that’s what matters the most amongst all isn’t?
DISAPPROVING THE STYLISTIC PRESENTATION OF YOUR SPOUSE’S RELATIVES
According to the Hindu customary, it is often said that marriage is not just about two souls, but also between the two families as well. You are not only accepting your spouse as your lifelong companion, but also introducing yourself as a part of the entire family in return. There is a lot of difference between a pre and post –wedding affair. Not only does your marital status changes from single to married, but you also tend to develop new connections with the various members of the family you have stepped in. When you are newly married, you certainly aren’t sure knowing which of the relatives you are fond of. We know it is fun to discuss who wore what and how they looked with your best buddies. But until and unless you are fully aware of how close or not your spouse is with his or her relatives, this discussion would rather be better enclosed in just between you and your bosom friend, excluding your partner to avoid a kind of misunderstanding.
CO-RELATING YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR EX-FLAME
Now this is something which you must promise to your own self. Not only should you refrain yourself from saying this right after your marriage, but otherwise as well alright? You might have had a relationship before with some other person and now it is over. And since it is over it does not look good to recall about your ex and moreover comparing him or her with your spouse. If you have fully overcome from your past affair and do not have even an inch of feelings left you will never ever make the blunder of comparing your partner with your old flame. This will not only cause jealousy in your spouse, but will also make him or her feel frustrated, cheated, unhappy, defeated. And once you begin to develop trust issues, its very difficult to win back the love.
TO SPEND SOME LONESOME TIME
Like really? That too after your wedding? If it is a love marriage, then there are of course possibilities that you and your partner knows each other well. On the other hand, if it is an arranged marriage then there will be definitely some kind of shyness and awkwardness. But the common element between both the marriages is the start of a new journey for both of you. Why would you need some time off just after your wedding? If something is troubling you then feel free to speak to your partner without much hesitation. Because after all, you are going to spend the rest of your lives together! This kind of a sentence right after your wedding will not not only bring in a self-doubt but also put your partner in a left-out condition. Instead of keeping things to yourself and fragmenting the relationship by telling “I need some time” simply talk it out to your partner, for maintaining a healthy relationship. At the end, your spouse is now your companion, your best friend for the remaining phases. So relax and share your queries.
BEING JUDGEMENTAL OF YOUR SPOUSES’S FRIENDS WITHOUT INTERACTING
First of all, stop being judgmental, especially when you are observing the person from a far off distance without interacting much. In the midst of fun and frolic do not forget that your spouse shares a good bond with his or her friends and are as dear and close in the similar manner as your companions are to you. So do not speak ill of them or criticize them without any valid reason immediately right after your wedding. This gesture will not only offend your partner, but also convey an incorrect meaning to his or her friends. May be you are determining this kind of a judgment a bit too early or they might be at fault. But whatsoever be the cause, try to self-restrain your explanations when it comes to your spouse’s pals. Make sure you always examine and analyze your statement of words before expressing your opinions in a powerful mode.
TAKING CARE OF YOUR OWN SELF
Marriage is a union of two people, for both the husband and wife are expected to work as a team. Since, it is the beginning of a new journey you both should be joining hands by dividing the duties and responsibilities respectively. It should be less of an ‘I’, and more of an ‘Us.’ So in a way trying to be overly self-sufficient that too right after your wedding can really offend your partner and make him feel that you do not need his cooperation. Of course, every couple has the right to respect each other’s space, but then it should not be looked upon as overrated. Marriage itself means a hand to hand journey into all walks of life. So stop getting rid of words like self, own and individuality. Let the sorrows, happiness, work pressure be mutually shared so that you feel more attached to one another in terms of as two bodies and one soul. So never ever explicitly introduce yourself before your partner as egoistic and that you can do things of your own. This will upset him or her with the thought that you do not want their guidance in your life.
THE FACT THAT YOUR SPOUSE HAD NEVER BEEN YOUR PARENTS CHOICE
Now that you and your partner have got married in accordance to all the ceremonies and rituals, the utterance of this particular phrase will definitely have a bad impact in your marital life. Not only will it bring in a damage into the relationship but also create a kind of gap between you both. On a general level,you might console him or her with the assurance that its all a past now and therefore not to think about it at all in the present. But words are powerful weapons and leaves no stone unturned to prick you every now and then. To let go off the situation, you might interact with your partner normally, but always remember that this silly mistake of yours will never be forgotten by him or her despite the daily conversation. This will constantly run at the back of his mind, especially when he will come across his in-laws. Therefore, make sure to avoid such sayings in order to stop disrupting your new relationship and hurting your partner in return. Whatsoever took place before the wedding is now in the past and so there is hardly any requirement to place emphasis on undesirable reasons from it.
UNDERESTIMATING THE JOB RESPONSIBILTY
Never ever underestimate one’s capabilities. For you never know the sheer hard work invested in order to make your spouse land up into this qualifying approval of a job status. Instead of giving your opinion regarding his occupation, learn to respect the work your spouse does for bringing in an income into the family. First, make an attempt to understand if he or she prefers their job or not. if they do not like their field job then ask the real reason behind it with utmost care without any pressurization. Exchange your emotions through a positive and effective discussion once you get to know each other well, instead of constantly criticizing their working capability. This will not only make your spouse feel lucky to get a life partner like you but will also look upon you as a great strength of reliability.
Therefore, construct a strong marriage instead of building it on a cracked foundation!
Chirasree is highly fond of reading and writing and wishes to create a special niche for herself. She feels that her imaginative skill enhances her potential for writing more. Pursuing literature and an interest in theory and philosophy has inspired her to indulge in books.