Heartbreaks are hard to deal with which we all know. Not only for the person who has to get his/her heart broken but also the person who has to do the breakup talk. It’s not that easy. There comes a time when the person realizes that it isn’t working anymore and they feel the hurt that comes along with this realization. Then come the questions: how to do it? When to do it? And blah blah. After you are actually done with the break up the guilt and self-doubts creep in. Because after being in a relationship with someone for a time frame you get used to their presence and all of sudden when you have to go on with your life without that person, it is the most difficult part for both the parties.
There’s no denying the fact that breakups are painful. Many times after our breakup, our emotions override the logic. You find yourself doing things that are neither logical nor helpful. You get trapped in the misery, you recall the events and all these things make it hard for you to get over.
If you want to stop hurting sooner rather than later, here are a few things you should not dwell on or do
The need to hide out from the world and wallow in self-pity is high after break up. No, we can’t really hold you against the fact that you have a runny nose, puffy eyes and the tendency to tear up at the name of your ex-bf. Doing this for a day or two is totally fine and agreeable. But if this continues on for more than that you are heading towards your own damage. We know you are nursing a broken heart but life stops for none. Don’t isolate yourself from the people you love, from the life you have tried so hard to set up.
Yes, you have lost the love of your life but you haven’t lost the others. Show up to work, do things that you love to do, spend time with your loved ones and socialize. Eventually, life will be back on its routine.
#2 Going For The Closure Talk Too Soon
So what exactly closure talk means? It is nothing but the closure you seek for the things that happened while breaking up. It’s the time when you decide to act as an adult, come forth and talk to your now supposedly ex, apologize for the words and objects thrown at the time of break up. A phone call or text conversation is apt than a face to face meet up because handling the situation becomes too much. Closure talk allows your hurt to let go of the harsh feelings towards each other and let go of the grudges. It lightens your heart evitably.
But rushing it up and seeking closure way before you get over the break up is a foolish thing to do. Because the wound is new and talking with your ex will unleash all those tears and feelings all over again. Chances are you’ll also end up making a scene. Trust us and give it a month or two before you ask for it.
#3 Seeking Rebound
Rebounds are not bad of course but they will do more damage than good if you go for it immediately after break up. One thing is for sure that in your misery you’ll end up with the first person that shows even an ounce of care. You might also end up in a bed with them which you may or may not regret later on.
Rebounds do help you to get over your past relationship but there is only that much they can do. Theirs is a certain hole that your past relationship has left behind and filling it up requires more depth than what a rebound relationship can give.
#4 Stalking Your Ex Or His New Girlfriend
This is the worst thing you can put yourself through. Every person has a different way to deal with breakups. While you are wallowing in your bed room your ex might have already jumped on to someone else. And you stalking his pictures is going to drive the knife in your heart even deeper. It will feel like a betrayal which is not because he has already broken up with you. Nonetheless, it feels the same.
Go on a social media detox or switch off your phone altogether for a few days so as to recover from your breakup. If you can’t do that and you also can’t resist the temptation than unfollow your ex from all the accounts and apps. You’ll find that it really helps as you no longer get the glimpses of your ex or his new life.
#5 Getting Drunk AF
Well, we know that’s what they show in the tv and movies but it’s really not the way to deal with a breakup. You know that you’ll regret it later and that it’s not like you to do these things. Getting wasted is only going to give your hangover and headache. Plus if you end up in someone else’s bed then you’ll have to do the walk of shame. Save the regret, do yourself a favor and don’t get smashed. And definitely, don’t drunk dial your ex.Your life is shattered yes, but it hasn’t ended remember that.
#6 Visiting The Old Date Spots
This is a big No! Don’t visit the old dating spots, don’t look at the memories and photos because it is too soon. You are going to rewind the times you spent together and possibilities are you are going to end up crying in public. You are making it harder for yourself. Remember that if it’s over, it’s really over.
But definitely go out to the same spots to make new memories. Just don’t go there alone. Replace your old ones with the new memories. Preferably, when you are over your ex and can hold it together.
#7 Trying Hard To Transform Into Your Ex’s Ideal Partner
By doing this you are just leading yourself to self-destruction rather than self-improvement. Trying to change yourself so that you can be what your partner always raved about is not going to do any good to you. If you are doing this then you still are hung up on your ex. You’ve to be proud of the fact that you are you. You don’t have to be anyone else. If your ex wanted he might have just accepted you for you. Don’t lie to yourself and don’t do something which is not your choice.
#8 Seeking Revenge
Negativity surrounds you when you have just broken up. You wonder why you were not good enough for him/ her. Your emotions are everywhere and sometimes you might just feel anger towards your ex for abandoning you. This might prompt you to seek revenge. But hold it there! Revenge means hurting others, causing damage and you already know that the breakup has done that part already. But if the urge of revenge just doesn’t go away then be tricky and turn yourself into such a better person that everyone looks up at you, adores you and wants you.
#9 Don’t Air Your Grievances Online
We all have seen people who just can’t hold it together and go on posting either sad updates or angry updates about their ex indirectly. It might be tempting af but remember you are way better than that. This is so not you. Find ways to let go of your emotions offline but don’t do it online.
Moreover, open your heart to new possibilities and relationships. Don’t do these stupid mistakes as they are just going to set you back rather than forward.
Anisha is an aspiring writer. She's a graduate in BBM. An ambivert by
nature, she is very fond of reading sappy romantic novels, passionate
about singing, cooking and dancing, holds a keen interest in learning
new things and wanderlust.