The 20s is not an easy phase at all. One might imagine being a girl in her twenties is cake-work, but let me tell you – It takes a lot of nerve to make it through the twenties where you are completely clueless but are expected to magically have your entire life all figured out.
Look now, you are not alone. This is what we may introduce to you as life. Your emotional upheavals and the chronic desire to give up on everything at once is perfectly normal. Here are ways to identify and combat the stresses and struggles every girl faces during her twenties.
I don’t want to grow up.
Yes, I don’t want to grow up, understand life and all the evils in it. Have you realized, the more we have grown, the more we’ve realised never trust people again, to never believe happiness is forever, to end up crying even when we are ecstatic, because happiness has become such a surreal concept altogether now, like it’s only the lie of the moment and very soon the clouds will gather again. So I don’t want to grow up and read between the lines. In fact, I don’t want anybody to grow up. Because when they do, something happens to their minds, an adult demon takes over and everything is a twisted, atrocious mess of diplomacy. But you can still be the child in your own Kingdom. You can be the heart, the soul, the life, the genuine, the beautiful person you were always meant to be.
I don’t want to take up responsibilities.
We go to school, to college, get a job, get married, have kids, make them go to school, college, whatever…whatever. Has anybody ever asked us what we want? No. That’s how it works, of course. You don’t study, don’t go to a university, don’t get a job, don’t have a beautiful family and everybody suddenly starts making a show of sympathy and starts using you as the perfect example of a downfallen loser nobody would ever dare to become. So be a child, play but get home-work done too. Sometimes, the only way to survive is to hunt.
I need to make mistakes!
I liked it back when I could make mistakes. There were people always there to tell me, ‘It’s okay to screw up. We learn from our mistakes.’ That when you fall, you can always get back on your feet. But lately, have you noticed that there is no room for mistakes anymore? That it’s do or die. That if you slip once, you’re pretty much done. One error, and you’re fired. A simple sorry could make magic happen, whereas now the word holds little or no meaning at all. But you are human. Flaws and imperfections are what make you perfect. So if you fail, don’t be afraid to go out there and fail again.
I can’t deal with my raging hormones anymore!
On top of all this, we have to battle with our raging hormones. PMS has got me losing my mind and dear ones, has it got you losing yours too? One minute, you’re so happy, the next you’re crying for God only knows what reason, and then you suddenly flip out and could just about stab every living human to death at that very moment. We don’t have control over this, but we must realize that it’s okay to let your moods swing around from time to time but also not let it upset you or anybody else. The minute you’re going crazy, try to tame your crazy. Run around, beat a pillow, scream at the wall or just breathe.
I can’t deal with my eternal emotional breakdowns.
I understand PMS, but why the hell am I so frequently sad and depressed? I keep breaking down. My life is fine, my goals are doing great, my friends are good too and the strangers I meet are not too bad themselves, I think I look good enough…So what is it? What is it that I am missing, that I am worried about, that I need in my life? Is it a soulmate or a purpose or a meaning I want to give to life? I don’t know, but I want to know, and thinking about this in too much detail makes me break down into a state of hopelessness again. Somewhat like midlife crisis, but you’re not there yet. Distract yourself, cheer up, listen to music and clean your room, go out and have fun if reality-check comes back to haunt you again. Some of these thoughts and feelings, they are going to stay, they are going to keep coming back. But it’s up to you to embrace and forgive the situation in order to live with it.
Where the hell is ‘The One’?
Who is my soulmate? Will I find one? How will I know if he is the one? What does a soulmate really mean? Do I even need one? Okay. Now no matter how much you sit and pretend to be happy in a sad relationship or pretend to be happy on your own – being single, there is just no escape from this thought sometimes. Everyone is a little scared of dying alone. But you know what, oftentimes dying alone is much better than being stuck with the wrong person for the rest of your life. If you don’t find a lover, a friend, a close anybody, don’t be sad, you beautiful little thing. You were born to rescue yourself. Be your own savior instead of trying to find a better half to serve.
Why is ‘the one’ never ‘The One’?
Sometimes, you find Mr. Perfect, he woos you out on a magical date, you both fall in love, become exclusive, and poof! The magic spell slowly starts to fade, all the flaws float up to the surface, anything they do is annoying, somebody says something, somebody screws up, the problems, struggles and complaints keep piling, the drama keeps increasing, you both are stressed out and the only thing that is holding you two together is the sex. Let’s face it, in your twenties, there is no ‘The One’. You are not matured enough to deal with your own struggles and understand yourself yet let alone trying to find the perfect match.
There is no happiness, is there?
One of our biggest struggles is in trying to find true happiness in life. Everything we do, everything we feel, all our energy is directed towards making ourselves and our lives a little bit happier. But we are constantly smothered by external factors causing us to brood and sulk over our misery at the end of the day. But you know what? I’m done trying so hard in a world where everybody is fiction. The sooner we accept and move on, the better. There’s no time to sit and cry over all the things that keep going wrong, because they will no matter what you try, how perfect you are. So might as well befriend every mistake and laugh it off every time we screw up. Because you will never feel the highs if you can’t feel the lows.
Is there no end to education?
Graduate out of high-school, go to college, to a university, get one degree after another, like you buy your regular pair of joggers every six months when you wear them out. When is this vicious cycle of education going to come to an end? Answer is: never. Learning will never stop. Your schooling and acquisition of degrees might someday come to a standstill, but the actual learning process…Nah, that never stops. And sweetheart, knowledge is power. You should devour everything that comes your way.
Oh great, now I need to get a sodding job!
You know what could have been amazing? Getting a cottage at the top of the mountain with not a care in the world. You know what life I would have given up everything for? A solitary life at the beach, feeling the breeze constantly brush my cheeks, and the perpetual serenade of the ocean waves. But alas! I would starve without money. Thus, I need a job.
Life is hard, okay? Full of unwanted struggles and battles. No one ever warned us it would be this difficult. And none of signed up for this. At least, not in our twenties, we didn’t!
Although fortunately, or unfortunately enough, we were born human beings and not animals. You can follow your heart, chase your dreams, do whatever you want. But always remember, now that you’re in it, you might as well play your cards as best you can. Because you’ve only got once chance, one life and one shot. Quit worrying, and make the most of it!