With the rise of technological developments on a massive scale, we have become inseparable from our high-tech gadgets. Needless to say, we drool over social media and yet have become maniacally obsessive about our digital social lives. This has lead to the formation of different notions for the term ‘private’ and for most people their cell phones fall in their private zones. We are all familiar with the psychology that works behind checking your partner’s phone; it is the stemming desire to grab control over your partner.
Today, our smart phones have added complexity in our relationships with no demarcation of what is acceptable and unacceptable. At present the smart phones have undeniably the biggest control on our minds and our time and therefore, they have all our footprints for people to discover us.
In this article we are going to discuss various different concepts that revolve around checking your partner’s phones.
NO SCRUTINY= TRUST & A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
According to a research, many couples believe that not checking your partner’s cell phones means that both share a trusted bond and respect each other’s privacy which is a sign of a hale and hearty relationship. They believe that even though they are emotionally undividable but at the end of the day they are two different individuals and that must be cherished.
CHECKING MESSAGES= MISUNDERSTANDING & QUARREL
Most of the times spying on your partner’s phone and reading their messages or mails can lead your relationship to a damaging situation. You are vulnerable to comprehending the texts in not its right senses. This can create unnecessary ripples between you both and the misunderstandings thus generated can also dismantle your relationship’s groundwork which is conviction. It is also believed that this habit can turn into an addiction also.
PRYING = NO SENSE OF BELONGING
Some people believe that being curious about what is happening in your partner’s digital space is a route towards distancing kinship. Keeping a check on the smart phones means violation of a sense of affection and attachment.
UNAUTHORISED ACCESS= BREAKING OF RELATIONS
Snooping can turn out to be destructive as researchers say that smart phones are ones individual boundary and if intervened, it may also lead to physical violence. Especially in a country like India where digital privacy is not yet constitutionally recognized, things can get disparaging.
CHECKING WHEREABOUTS = PART OF CARING
If the phones are accessed with the right intention, most people admit that they wouldn’t have any sort of problem with that. They believe that this shows that the partner cares for you and wants to be aware about your whereabouts. Some couples firmly believe that this doesn’t mean they are exploiting their privacy zone or niggling in.
While some believe that checking your partner’s phone is an invasion into privacy, some on the other hand believe that it is absolutely cool if done not to bully or humiliate the other person.
The ideology that dictates that checking your partner’s phone is done to grip control in a relationship has to be understood thoroughly as it has dual aspects to it. One is if you wish to take control with the intention to protect or care for that person, then it will be considered as a warm gesture. But if you feel that spying is a good way to know more about him then this simply means you want to feed the Peeping Tom that resides in you. Therefore, it is important to understand the thin line that segregates both the sides and decide what works best for your relationship.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.