Asha(age 27), an independent corporate IT professional usually freaks out when confronted with marriage proposals. She isn’t dating a guy or has any other conflicting views about the institution of marriage. She is otherwise a very sensitive and joyous human being but tends to keep away from family gatherings.
To everybody’s surprise Asha’s aunt, residing in the U.S. suggested her mom to refer to a psychologist regarding the whole scenario. Asha’s mom flinched at first, evading that her daughter was not mentally ill, and there wasn’t any need for her to visit the “doctor of mental speciality”.
Asha’s aunt remained persistent and eventually Asha was taken to the psychologist. After a few psychology sessions, Asha’s mother was called up for a detailed discussion with the doctor. This discussion broke Asha’s mother into pieces. She was broken into utter shock to discover that her daughter was molested physically, sexually harassed for 9 long years by her own uncle!
Asha, today is under psychological treatment and shows recovery. Yet, not ready to be given away in marriage.
We are all well acquainted with increasing number of cases of sexual harassment around us. Sexual abuse to kids, has prevailed since old times but remains unsaid and unexpressed. Manier times when kids come up with such complaints in a naive way, they are told to keep mum and never again bring up such stuff. Why? Because we fear society! We fear that somebody, from one of us is the culprit. We fear that it would bring bad name to the kid and the family, but not the guilty!
We’ll better not talk about the solution! It requires great guts and valor to handle such a situation. But, can’t we take our precautions? No! Don’t cage your little girl or clad her into clothes like it’s winter always!
Teach them! Educate them! You need to be enlightening in a very naive and sober manner because you are dealing with kids!
Kids of not 10 or above, but 4 and above.
You can do this in a simple 3-point guideline, that you tell your young baby to follow.
NO TOUCH ZONE: You are his/ her mother. You help them with clothes, with food, their bathing and everything.
Tell your kids that their private parts are intimate zones, and nobody is allowed to touch them. It’s because they need to be kept germ free. Tell them about what areas are not to be intimidated, by anybody, even you after somebody has tried to, your kid can surely come up to you and you’ll help your kid with the same. Build that trust.
BEST FRIEND-MOM: Instill in your kids, the spirit of friendship that takes in trust, balance, space to express, openness and love towards you. Tell them that you are always available for what all they want and whenever they need you. Be a disciplinarian but don’t be harsh or strict. Give them the freedom and they’ll give you back the trust in return. Remember, you have to practice this, do not fake it.
FEAR ONLY GOD: Teach them that they have to fear god and angels that surround them for the bad or wrong that they do and nobody else. They do not have to get into any forced interactions with any relatives or friends. If somebody is threatening them, they have your support and should stand fearless. Prove to them, by solving their quests and acting on any fishy things, if they bring up.