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How to avoid being a possessive partner ?
At times, being possessive does not hurt. In fact, a little possessiveness is mark that you love the person. However, getting overboard does not just ruin your relationship but also makes you negative. Your negativity might make people avoid you. It is healthy to deal with your incompetency, lower self- esteem and jealousy rather than dumping it on your partner. If you have trust issues, move away from that person rather than draining all your energy or wasting each others’ time.
Let go of your past: You might have cheated or been cheated on, you might have lied endlessly or lied to; whatever be the case, you cannot afford to hang on to whatever you have experienced before. This is a new relationship. Don’t start assuming what might happen until they have. Mindless thinking will only make you cling to our partner and suffocate him.
Stop Worrying: Worrying about whether or not your partner really loves you is baseless. Being overly needy will only freak him out. Stop bothering him with your fears. When he is with you, trust that, he loves you. Trust, that he wants to stay with you. Had it not been the case, he could have just walked out.
Work on your insecurities: No one is perfect. If you believe you have shortcomings that you could overcome easily, work on them. Your partner isn’t at fault here. What can be done, should be done. Work not just for anyone, but for yourself. Your insecurities will haunt you no matter who you are with. So, get going and win over what bothers you.
Spying is a bad, bad idea: Let’s not lie here. At some point or the other, you might have checked his mails, texts and chats on social media. The breach of trust will cost you. Not only will it create more suspicion but also damage the trust that you share, or rather, should share! Try not eavesdropping when he is busy on a call. Or, try engaging with things you love if at all you are tempted to check his texts when he might be sleeping. Everyone has their right to privacy. Respect that!
Socialise with each other’s friends: When you are completely unaware of his friend circle, you might start getting fussy over issues and nag all the time. Also, you have the right to know what kind of people he associates himself with. Chances are, you might like them as well. This will just be an add- on to relieving yourself off the burden!
Give yourself time: Stop making yourself available all the time. Make him miss you at times. Only when you have a life of you own, you will have things to speak to each other about. Unless you are occupied, you will continuously get back to haunting him. They don’t say this for nothing: An empty mind is a devil’s workshop.
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Born and brought up in India, Anushree's thoughts have been conditioned by a surrounding diverse in all aspects. She aspires to travel round the world and have a taste of the culture, food and music. Her Masters in Political Science has given her a reality check as to where India stands in enlightening its womenfolk. Writing gives her the freedom to materialize her ideas and allow people to sneak into her mind. She finds it fun and liberating.