How to be an amazing stepmom?

While movies and fairytales advocate them as cruel and unethical in their fiction, these women are bravest, strongest and exceptionally compassionate in reality. Stepmoms have always been tagged with the stereotype of being bad and evil whereas the truth about being a stepmom isn’t just limited to that.

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Who is a stepmom?

Stepmom is a special variety of women who are exceptionally brave, kind, ready to love and challenge the society by getting married into readymade families. They are compassionate, loving, extremely enduring and understanding breed of women.

In a country like India, stepmoms are always categorized as wicked and the society also has a lot of obnoxious theories in the picture. Stepmoms in India are always backtracked in giving love and affection. The conclusion is that it is pretty hard and a struggle to be efficient stepmoms in India with so many stereotypes breathing in the air.

Today, in this article, we plan to help the stepmoms in India on how to find their access into the child’s life with their acceptance, love and care.

TRY TO PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES

Take a walk in their shoes to know them better. You couldn’t imagine replacing your parents, so how would they? Your aim shouldn’t be to replace their mother or become one, instead at aim at becoming the part of their clan or a good friend who is always there for him/her. Also, understand that if you are a stepmom that does not mean that you are a substitute of someone, you are an addition to the family and therefore, you shouldn’t be compromising to their rudeness and arrogance all the way. Be polite.

BE AWARE OF YOUR BOUNDARIES

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Being a stepmom, you may be tempted to try the idea of becoming a cool parent as in such way it is easy to befriend the children. But things do not always work the similar way as planned. Maybe the child doesn’t like your easy going attitude and finds it very irritating. Understand their discipline and boundaries and try finding out where you lie in their life and do not try to invade into the interiors too fast. You might be having the right intentions but they may not greet your intentions too well initially.

RESPECT AND OBEY THE FAMILY SETUP

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Since stepmoms enter into a readymade family, it is obvious that the family pre-owns certain customs and traditions. The children of the family must have grabbed some values and thoughts from their mom and dad already. You might disagree with these values but it is advised not to criticize them, especially not in front of them. You can try different approach in reaching out to them by saying that ‘hey! It is a great way to solve the problem but for a change let us try a new way’.

THE TEST OF TIME

The role of astepmom is not easy and you will have to cross the test of time to attain what you aim at. The relationship and bond you dream of with the children will not form overnight, it will take time. The divorce of their parents or probably the demise of one is going to take ample amount of time to dwell into. Their dreams have been shattered and their bubble has popped out and therefore, it isn’t easy for them to accept you instantaneously and invite you to form their unit. Be patient and respect their feelings. You will observe changes as time travels ahead.

BE PREPARED

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Stepmoms are very easy targets for children to take their frustrations out, so be prepared for some bitter words. Sentences like, ‘We do not need to listen to you’, ‘Don’t try to become one of us’, ‘We hate you’ etc. are going to unfold in your way but just don’t give up. Obviously, you don’t deserve to be subjected to such anger and disapproval but try understanding their point of view. Children are usually emotionally drained during such situations and are impulsive as well. You will have to keep this in mind and move ahead. Be positive.

‘Being a stepmom simply means that the child grows inside the heart instead of the tummy’

We will never understand how hard it is to raise a child until we become a parent. Raising a child is one of the hardest things in life and it takes a lot of endurance and power to sacrifice in becoming a good parent. Often parenting is underestimated but it takes a lot from you than you will ever receive in upbringing a child. We all must thank our parents for trying so hard and not giving us account of the countless days they must have stayed awake in anticipation just for our well-being!