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How to deal when your boyfriend ignores you
Husbands may ignore their wives due to the unhealthy patterns of communication that have driven a wedge between the two partners.
A wife may think that her relationship that was once assumed to be the most intimate and a supportive one, has now started giving her the feeling of loneliness, contempt or disinterest. Like others, she would also like to rediscover happiness and intimacy which she experienced in the early days of her marriage but somehow she would believe that a break in the patterns of behavior has caused the real problem.
As a result, she starts ignoring her partner to avoid conflict .However, since mostly it is the wife who complains when things are going in the right direction and men hardly express their emotions as openly as women, therefore it is the women who has to respond actively to deal with such situations.
If you are also caught in a similar situation, then may be just having a simple discussion more often, can help to teach your spouse how to cope by seeking a retreat into himself and to tune out the negative communication. But remember that none can be blamed in this scenario as it is simply a matter of having different communication styles. If a woman complains of something, it may be her way of raising the subject and to try to solve out the issue.
But, if a husband is expected to be approached in this manner, he may like to respond back with his own set of criticism. So,in situation where this becomes a routine pattern, the marriage relationship may have devastating effects. Therefore, I suggest to you some ways to avoid situations that can create negative communication patterns in your life.
Never accuse or issue commands to your spouse :
When your husband is already ignoring you, it may add to his frustration and anger if you start accusing him. This resentment will only deepen the divide between you two. So, you must avoid using statements such as ‘you never listen to me’ or ‘you hardly care about me’ etc. These statements will increase the length of the argument and would result in a withdrawal by your spouse.
Never interrupt when he is talking or even raise your voice:
It is commonly observed that wives tend to become quite emotional when discussing personal issues with husbands which may lead to their raised voices and interruptions. Although these behaviors are mostly unconscious, yet they may worsen the situations. So it is better to try and remain calm and allow your partner to finish his thought before you respond to him.
Never get into the cycle of attack and counter attack:
In most cases, when one partner misinterprets what the other has said then the other one falls into a pattern of accusations after accusations. These destructive patterns would only escalate negativity. Therefore, the best thing to do is to listen to what your partner says and then explain your point of you related to his concern .If you have to ask anything from him, you may put up your question politely before him rather than bombarding him soon after he finishes telling you his reservations. Moreover, always give your partner a chance to either confirm or clarify his statement or blame as this exercise is quite suitable to prevent misunderstandings that may further decrease the chances of turning a discussion into a heated battle.
She is a passionate writer who has been writing Poetry, Essays, Articles, Website content, and Literary Reviews. She has been managing blogs and websites independently. A feminist at heart, she has coached various writers as well. Her works in various niches and genres have been published in print as well as online ezines and websites.