How to deal with a crush who is already engaged ?


I am sure, a lot of you might have experienced a crush on someone who is taken. Trust me, that’s heartbreaking! At times, it feels like you met the right person at the wrong time. What would you do if you ever encounter that? I know it’s hard but you need to maintain your dignity and not stoop to the level of trying and causing problems in someone else’s relationship. You wouldn’t want to do things to people that you wouldn’t enjoy happening to yourself. You know, KARMA is a b****! Here are a few things you could do to keep a check on those emotions:

Accept that it’s not unnatural: Look, you are a human. You are wired to have those hormones kicking when something pleases you heart and soul. Unless you plan on living in an island with no contacts at all, you are most likely to be attracted to someone.

Understand that it is not permanent: Crushes happen and last for four months on an average as experts believe. If things get pretty much desperate, you are in “love”. If you are aware of the fact that he is engaged and in a happy relationship, try and weigh the pros and cons, you will definitely understand a way out just like you found your way in. Give it time, things will pass.

Communicate your feelings: There’s no harm in speaking your heart out to the person who you have a crush on. You might not want to keep regrets. It’s ok to let the person know. But do not pressurise him/ her to accept you. You cannot force someone to love you. Just like Adele says, “You can’t make your heart feel something that it won’t!” (Couldn’t help but make a reference to it).

Speak to your partner in case you are engaged too: Getting attracted to someone when you are in a relationship is a sign that you might be dissatisfied with your partner. It’s important that you talk it out. Reflect on you mutual issues and sort them. If things go overboard and you let distance and miscommunication creep in, you are likely to cheat.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes: In order to maintain your integrity, reason your choices. You might have no idea about how much your crush might be into his/ her partner. They will have their memories, their experiences, their sacrifices. Being the “other” woman seriously will do you no good. Be the one! Personally, that will hurt my ego if at all I decide on trying to break someone else’s relationship.

Control your feelings: Treat your crush like a momentary diversion. You might just be assuming him/ her to be the one, who might keep you happier than ever! Things might just be an illusionary rosy picture. Engage in productive things other than wondering or day dreaming. It will neither help you nor your crush. Let it go, else you might get obsessed. You might not want to come across as desperate or insane. In the process, you’ll might just scare off your crush.

We all have crushes, if not, will or may be never at all! But you need to just draw lines when necessary. That’s a part of growing up and learning. Be a woman of substance, the right one will find his/her way to your heart.

Anushree Ghosh


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