How to handle a cheating partner ?


You have been cheated. I understand that it is a hard time to deal with, especially when you have given your 100% in a relationship. But just because you were into him/ her doesn’t necessarily mean that he/she did not have other selfish motives behind being with you. No matter what, I believe if you love someone, there’s no second person that you will think about. Cheating is not an option then. Love is the purest feeling on earth and problems might come and go but you will resolve them rather than taking resort to cheating.

Being cheated on is a terrible feeling. If you consider your partner unworthy of your time and love, communicate and resolve your differences. If things still don’t work, part ways if you think that’s the best possible choice. But if you cheat, you crumble someone’s world!

Here are a few possible ways in which you can deal with the situation:

Try and understand all variables:

Were you officially in a relationship? Were you just dating? Were your feelings clear to each other? Did he express his fear of being commitment phobic? Try and get your facts clear because he/ she may not be the one to blame. You might have over expected. In the process you might only be unnecessarily hurting yourself.

Try and Calm down:

I know it is difficult and you want to confront the person. But you need to calm down and relax. Carve it on your mind: He/ She is not the end of you world! Haste makes waste. You might not want to create a situation that you might regret later. So, think and then act.

Talk to a well- wisher:

A lot of us might want to lock ourselves up and cry our hearts out. But it is advisable that you talk to a close friend about it. It will help you channel your thoughts and the way you might want to approach your partner. However, abstain from spreading unfounded rumours. You might want to have support of a counsellor at this point of time.

Stop cursing and blaming yourself:

None of us are perfect. Do not question your worth. Even the best looking people have their own set of insecurities. Sometimes, both of you are responsible and sometimes not. And sometimes, the problem might just be your partner. Stop finding faults in yourself. You will not come up with something fruitful by just doing that. Sounds clichéd , but things that are meant to happen, do happen! Understand that this might be a blessing instead. You have no idea what wonderful things might come next. We all have the best in store for us. Be hopeful.

Confront you partner:

Do not let doubts prevail. Speak to your partner. Do not accuse unless you are absolutely sure. It might just be a misunderstanding. He/ She might need help or may not. Your partner may be addicted to sex. And yes, this is a fact. A lot of us buy the substance abuse excuse. Do not fall in that trap. No one can make you do things you would not want to. No matter how high you are! Be firm or else this behaviour will continue. You might have to bear future consequences for your partner’s actions.

Contemplate on whether you would have the spark back:

Infidelity mostly results from emotional or physical dissatisfaction. Some have casual relationships with multiple partners but remain steady with one. But are you one of them? Can you accept your partner and keep the spark alive? If he/ she is dissatisfied with you, there is no point forcibly continuing the relationship. There are chances your partner will keep cheating on you since he no longer wants to be with you or cares about hurting you. Trust, care and understanding are the cornerstones of a happy relationship. If that’s missing, it is better you move on.

Anushree Ghosh

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