“He who knows how to make himself be loved by women, as well as to increase their honor and create confidence in them, this man becomes an object of their love.” (KAMASUTRA- PART 3, CHAPTER 2)
According to Vatsyayana’s KAMASUTRA, one of the most fascinating aspect is the mastery of creating confidence or the idea that a man must drive away the thought of the fear of sex in the virgin wife before engaging into a sexual conjunction. It’s a noteworthy conception from what has come to be generally known as the age-old established practice of the “wedding night’, where a virgin bride is rendered as unchaste after surviving pain and uneasiness in the accomplishment of her responsibilities as a wife.
MASTERY OF TEACHING CONFIDENCE AND THE USE OF LOVE MAKING DEVICES
After the long procedure of choosing the right partner as his wife, the girl leaves her paternal home and moves along with her spouse for the beginning of a new conjugal life. The situation looks somewhat different because its not just about being shy and remaining introvert post-marriage, but rather arousing a confidence within the girl by means of certain love tricks from her husband. During the first three days’ post marriage the man and girl should not get intimated sexually. Instead they must sleep on the floor and hold back themselves from sexual delight and consume their food without any flavored spices. Interestingly enough, for the next seven days they should shower in the midst of the sounds of favorable lyrical instruments, dine in sync and pay concentration to their relatives. However, on the night of the tenth day, the man should begin soft-hearted love play, and above all use cozy and creamy words to produce confidence in the girl. KAMASUTRA, no doubt deals with sexual pleasures but most importantly it emphasizes on the notion that a man first should begin to win her over and create confidence in her, but should refuse itself first and foremost from sexual amusement. Sexual pleasure must not begin until the male has her trust- for women” being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings.” Hence, he must approach her not forcibly but rather on her likenesses. Once the girl sways away from shyness and is able to create a confidence within herself, it is at this time hour when the man must come near her, and make use of the love making devices and built in her confidence more and more.
Since it’s the first touch compiled with a slight of nervousness on the girl’s part, the man must embrace her in accordance to her wishes and likeness so that she feels gratified.
The man must hug her tightly with the upper part of his body for the reason that it is easier and uncomplicated.
If supposedly, the girl is grown up in the sense that she is quiet matured enough and that both the man and the girl have known each other for a long time, then as a husband he might embrace her by the light of a lantern. However, if both are unknown to each other and a shyness still prevails even at a slight touch, then he must embrace her in the dark.
Now that the girl is slowly trying to get rid of her fear and shyness in front of her husband, his first touch in the form of an embrace is likeably accepted by her. Once she accepts the embrace it means it means that she is allowing her body to be touched by him on the successive wedding nights. He would like to woo her by all means and hence does not hesitate to put a tambula or screw of betel nut and betel leaves in her mouth. More the man entices his seductive mood by means of sweet talks, oaths or kneeling at her feet, more the chances of creating confidence for a new bride can never spell refuse in front of her man. It is a universally known fact, that no matter what the circumstances turns out to be, a girl would never ever try to disrespect her husband. Since I am taking you back to the ancient days as readers you are now familiar of the elementary discipline and respect a woman had towards her man during those days.Usually a girl tends to remain silent compared to a man. So, when her husband would ask her questions with regard to her fondness and likeness towards him, her reply would be stated not verbally but instead by means of nodding her head indicating a ‘Yes.’
In this love affair between the man and the girl, the involvement of a female friend just acts as a connecting link between the two. It is so because she acts as a medium of conveying his feelings towards his wife through her. This is the crux of building a part by part confidence in her. Moreover, once she is fully accustomed of his love gestures towards her, she too might ask the female friend so as to deliver the same mutual feeling from her side towards him as well. Remarks like” O no! I didn’t say so” is simply a blushing gesture so as not openly expose her desires she craves from him in return.
It is usually the importance on reading behavior that makes the KAMASUTRA so extraordinary, phenomenal and unique. It is not only a sexual handbook, but rather a love manual as well. The blend of love and consummation is expressible of being wholly conscious of a lover’s attitude, and accounting for all anxiety, hesitancy and uneasiness. Slowly when the girl becomes familiar with the man it is her duty to soothe him with kind words. When she is seen busy with her tasks, the man should cuddle her youthful breasts and intend to derive pleasure by touching them with his nails. However, if she stops him from doing so he should say to her’’ I will not do it again if you embrace me” and should in this way arouse her mood once again to hold him tightly in her arms. More the man touches her all over to create her confidence, there are chances that she might shrink back due to certain fear. But then she is left with no other option but to bestow her whole self to him when he utters” I shall impress marks of my teeth and nails on your lips and breasts, and then make similar marks on my own body, and shall tell my friends that you did them.” In this way, he wins over her and quenches the thirst of the sexual urge.
THE FINAL ACT OF GAINING PLEASURE ON THE SECOND AND THIRD NIGHTS
According to the KAMASUTRA, it is especially during the second and third nights that the confidence which has been instilled within the girl by the man executes results of intimate bodily affairs between the two. Not only does the man have the right to fondle the whole of her body but at the same time should also lay his hands upon her thighs and shampoo them. However, if she refuses him from making physical contact he would faintly reply by saying “What harm is there in doing it?” and would tempt her to allow him do the needful.Once she permits her body do be enjoyed with ease and satisfaction it is at this moment where he should feel her genitals, try to strip her dress and bring her closer to him. Out here let me tell you, that do not interrelate sexual intercourse in this process. Because before beginning the real congress it is the man’s responsibility of teaching her the 64 arts of love and passion. The flame of love affair is enhanced by means of confessions from the man with regard to how much he loves her and promises to forever remain her companion for the rest of the years. Last but not the least, he must also assure her as to not fear any other third women in their relationship. In this way the art of creating confidence in the girl reaches its final stage and all that remains thereafter is the love making between the two exclusion of any further shyness.
Chirasree is highly fond of reading and writing and wishes to create a special niche for herself. She feels that her imaginative skill enhances her potential for writing more. Pursuing literature and an interest in theory and philosophy has inspired her to indulge in books.