Love is a perfect blend of a feeling of warmth, fondness and an action. While a large number of people takes delight in the concept of a single soul mate or rather say heart’s desire, it is also promising to fall in love with two people in the similar manner. Well, we must all confess that at some point or the other in our lives we have all fallen in love with different people in different situations. Whether you call it is love, lust, or crush it had its own special charm of captivating your senses.
When you love and adore someone, you select them. You place them in the topmost position in the long list of your favorites, you long to stay with them, to stand by them so much so that you don’t even mind falling in love once again with that special person. As a matter of fact, falling in love with two people is not an excuse, for it just happens all of a sudden out of the blue. The whole situation seems utterly confusing particularly if you are already into a committed relationship. But it does not mean that you are selfish and cruel –hearted to break someone’s emotions and leave him or her just for the sake of the the second person. Loving two people at a single time, is somewhat like a ‘V’ shaped road, that takes the strong, spirited and adventurous in one direction whereas the fearful and thoughtless in another.Bestowing love on two different people at the same time is not based on the issue of selecting the one who sexually arouses your interest higher than the other who has become ordinary or uninteresting. Loving somebody in a dedicated and sincere way means apprehending that someday you might desire to love someone else. Might crave to stay with someone else. Because the self -preference to love another person activates the essence long after the butterflies have worn out and the psychological impulsiveness of one’s emotions has subsided. In fact, it is a selection that keeps the ecstasy and passion in progress. Itis a freewill that holds back the love in a blooming and prospering spree, without taking into consideration who or what else springs on its course. It is the choice that has the ability to renovate and breathe new life into the relationship over and over again.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME? AND DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO?
The answer is yes. You can definitely fall in love with two people at the same time. But it isn’t that easy as it sounds to hold both the people close to your heart. To fall in love, or not to fall in love with another person while you are already into a relationship is completely up to you. You might fall in love with any person and at any situation in different ways. While falling in love with a person is inescapable or rather say unavoidable, nevertheless it is under your self-control whether you want to move forward with that person or simply let him or her go. If you do not want to cheat on your partner and prevent further chaos from entering into your relationship you can yourself stop the so called” other” from sending you flirtatious messages and calling out to you for casual mingling. So, if you are happy with your current partner then don’t involve yourself into these matters seriously. Because if the emotions you felt for the second person isn’t that strong enough then the pleasure of love and infatuation may stay for a while and fade away, and perhaps the best part is that it won’t be emotionally upsetting or distressing you.
HOW DO WE END UP FALLING IN LOVE WITH TWO PEOPLE?
Remember, it is always easy to fall for the new love interest in your life, when you have already crossed the various milestones of relationship with your current partner. So, basically, from this stage onwards when you are in love with some other person, the strong feelings of sentiment and sensation which you have the experience of do not oppose one another. All that matters are the two distinctive experiences that draws closer with one other at once. You might be intensely and ardently in love with your partner during the initial stages, but mature love is somewhat different from the passionate enthusiastic experience at the starting of a relationship. So, in a way when you intend to experience the same enthusiastic passion with someone else, it is not difficult to experience the dual stages of love at a single time.
This will help you out!
FIND OUT THE DIFFERENCES IN YOUR APPROACH IN LOVING THE PERSON, INSTEAD OF COMPARING THEM.
If you find yourself in love with two people, you will eventually notice that the emotional needs keep on varying. So first take note of the fact regarding your own way of expressing passion towards both of them individually. This will help you in figuring out whom you love the most and enable you to take a decision. Keep on asking yourself what are you getting in return from each person. Whether it’s the stability which the first person is bringing into your relationship or the passion for the second person which is missing from the current relationship. Before making any decision, always remember that sexual ardor may die out as the years will pass by, but real and true love matures into a blissful relationship. Your new sweetheart might excite and rouse you as well as make you recollect of your former years in love, but you have to know that the infatuated excitement of the new secret relationship will only last for a few months or a few years. If you ever compare your lovers, compare them for the compatibility of the harmony in relationship instead of the passion. However, be careful. You should be comfortable letting both parties know what exactly is going on.
THINK ABOUT HOW LOVING TWO PEOPLE MAKES YOU FEEL
Our civilization no doubt gives importance to monogamy whether its emotionally or say physically. You might demand for certain necessities, desires and wishes which you eventually expect out of a relationship. No one apart from you can precisely describe what exactly you look ahead to from lovey-dovey relationships. Thus, before moving forward you need to make this thing clear. As you already know that there are many people who are simply committed towards just one person. So, if you see yourself inclining for a so called” somebody” ask yourself that do you feel the need to be deeply endowed in one person? Do you feel tired and worn-out by it, or refreshed and excited? Do you regret about it and somewhere or the other find yourself at fault? Or are you absolutely fine with the fact that you love two different people? Just keep on recognizing what do you actually crave for. Do you want to have a relationship with a single person, or are you free-minded and open enough to loving two people at once?
CHECK OUT IF YOU ARE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
If you are currently committed into a relationship, then falling for some other person might bring in serious issues into the love affair. Until and unless you and your current partner have not given a consent to the idea of an open relationship, then falling in love with another person can lead to an emotional affair. And in return cause physical suffering and exhibition of disloyalty for your present partner. In such a situation you need to justify your behavior at this point. You need to console yourself with the thought that do you only consider your new lover as just a good friend or like spending more time with him? Do you obsessively think of him whole day and night? If this is the case, then its sign of an emotional infidelity, so much so that you begin to hide things from partner, lest you be caught.
FIGURE OUT WHETHER YOUR FEELINGS FOR YOUR PARTNER IS DECREASING
Ask yourself if you are happy with your current relationship. If there have been issues and conflicts for a while, then your deep fondness towards another person might be a sign of caution. Do you grumble about your partner to this person? Do you find yourself comparing this person to your partner? Is he distinct from your present partner? if this is the case, then you may be securing onto someone entirely different because your present relationship is at a stake.
KEEP CALM AND SPEAK TO YOUR PARTNER
It is always advisable to address the issue to your partner without much hesitation because everyone’s life is based upon one firm decision. If you ever think that your feelings are a warning to your present relationship, you must sit down and have a talk with your partner. Choose the right time and place to communicate to your partner without hiding anything. Empathize with your partner, because on hearing about your new love it might come as a big shock to him. There are chances he might warn you to cut off contacts with that person, become angry and all. Whatever you decide, make sure you and your partner settle the issue clearly with a mutual understanding.
COME TO A FINAL CHOICE WITHOUT OSCILLATING IN BETWEEN
At the end of the day, we all prefer to go into a monogamous relationship isn’t? In the midst of loving both the person, simply figure out which partner would you like to choose. Select that person out of the two whose ambitions and goals more closely goes in sync with yours, taking into reflection similar moral values, as well as similar things for the future. If you find one person influencing your individuality, he might be appropriate for you.
GIVE A SPECIFIC REASON, AS TO WHY YOU ARE LEAVING AND GOING FOR THE OTHER PERSON
Supposedly you have taken the final decision of leaving your current boyfriend or girlfriend and moving on with the other person, then please make sure that you give a specific reason behind taking this crucial step.If you are comfortable enough on your own part in spelling out your new love flame’s name, then its absolutely fine, you may do so, to make the matter look clear irrespective of any dilemma involved into the relationship. On the other way round, if you do not want to mention that person’s name then you may utter phrases like” You know what I feel that we are not into the same compatible level. I think it will be better if we opt for someone who is in sync with our aspirations. I hope you are getting me, right?” Do not leave any marks of ambiguity in between you and your partner so as to set a clear cut boundary and stretching the issue over and over again.
ONCE YOU LEAVE YOUR EX PARTNER, JUST MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT ANY DILEMmA
As I had told you earlier that falling in love with two isn’t that easy at all because emotions are delicate and fragile. But once you are determined of choosing the right one out of the two just move forward with him or her without turning back to the past.This decision was solely yours since you went through a lot of mental struggle and self examining questions to land up to a conclusion. Work on building a refreshed alliance with someone you love. You may still have feelings for the other person, but then minimize communion with that person and focus on your new romance. Slowly with the passage of time and distance those feelings will die out.
One’s life and their decisions are solely subjective, hence none has the right to interfere. All I can say is that just follow your heart, without taking any whimsical decisions. If you are not happy and feel there is a kind of lack, then you are free to go to the other person. But if you love your partner wholeheartedly then do not think of leaving him. Crushes come and go, until and unless development of feelings turns out to be pretty serious and mutual. You don’t have to confuse yourself over your emotions. Love is complicated and puzzling, and it’s easier and uncomplicated to remain in the shell of love with one person, whoever you may choose. Hold yourself closer to two people and you will find yourself doubling your complications. So unless you are left with no other options, do not endeavor yourself in falling in love with two people at once!
Chirasree is highly fond of reading and writing and wishes to create a special niche for herself. She feels that her imaginative skill enhances her potential for writing more. Pursuing literature and an interest in theory and philosophy has inspired her to indulge in books.