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Should you put your spouse before your parents?
Once you leave your maiden home after marriage to settle in with one individual out of all the other people you’ve known, with whom you are going to be spending the rest of your life, it is crucial to be able to share a close bond with said person.
Our parents definitely are the closest to us but it is not forever that we’ll have them near, which is why each one of us need someone we can lean on, someone we can look to for support, someone we’ll be able to share our joy and sorrow with, someone to go home to and hence, that one special person must not be less valued.
Here are a few reasons as to why one should put their spouse before their parents.
TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE COMPANIONSHIP AND MAKE HIM/HER FEEL HONOURED
Your spouse deserves to be made to feel honoured for all the effort that they put in to sustain mutual happiness in the relationship. A relationship requires effort from both the individuals taking part in it. There has to be compromises and sacrifices which two people make in order to sustain communal understanding. Acknowledge this effort, by considering their opinions, their ideas and also their discordance regarding decisions you make in life, rather than relying on your parents’ judgements. You do not live with your parents anymore and that is why it is wise of you to respect your immediate dear one and take into consideration not your parents’ but your spouse’s consent and advice regarding matters of importance in your life.
TO REVERBERATE THE PROMISE OF A SOLID MARRIAGE
It isn’t right to keep running to your parents with complaints regarding your spouse. No individual is perfect and maturity is when two people can live together with each other’s imperfections, compensating for what is lacking in one another. On seeking refuge in your parents’ pacification can in no way solve any problems that you are struggling with, instead it will make matters worse for you because your parents only being exposed to the negatives of your mate may ultimately convince you to get separated while you would know how wonderful a person they are and that their flaws are really too minor to cause you to seek a severance. Thus it is necessary that you do not involve your parents in differences that arise between your spouse and yourself, it shows both your partner and your parents that you have a solid marriage.
TO INCREASE INTIMACY BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU
When you are accepting of your spouse’s flaws, their confidence in the bond gets amplified so that they feel compelled to be equally accepting of your flaws and support you going against their parents because it is the two of you who are going to spend your lives together so that what matters is not whether your parents have issues with your spouse but what issues you have and how you take care of them aided by mutual respect and understanding. This helps in creating a fine intimacy between the two of you.
TO HELP YOU CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER IN ROUGH TIMES
When you’ve placed your spouse at a position above your parents, you automatically gain their confidence and loyalty towards you so that during times of crisis you receive mental support from them. There are times when we might fail in life with regards to securing a permanent job, bearing a child and other such things which can lead people to drift apart from us or express disapproval of us, including our parents but your spouse does not have expectations of you similar to that of your parents. They do not need you to be perfect, all they want is a companion they can spend their lives with Remembering the times when you stood by them they will return the favour standing by you.
TO BE EACH OTHER’S SUPPORT WHEN THE PARENTS ARE GONE
This is the most important reason out of all the others stated above. When you look at things more practically you will see that it is extremely vital to maintain a close and intimate bond with your spouse so that you can seek comfort in each other during old age when your parents would have reached the end of their lives, your children would have started their own family and people would have ceased to visit or be in touch.
While you place importance on your relationship with your spouse do not completely drift apart from your parents. Maintain a healthy and loving relationship with both, making sure not to let your parents dictate terms in your married life. Cultivate a strong and lasting bond with your spouse for a blissful life ahead.