Formally a marriage is said to be a legal union of a man and a woman as partners in a liaison. But do you think the wide concept of marriage can be summarized in just one line? That is simple not possible. We all know marriage has a lot more matter in it which varies with varying cultures. The definition of marriage changes from boundary to boundary. Even though it has capricious frontiers it remains a principal institution worldwide. If we were to define it broadly, we would say marriage is a cultural universal.
THE BITTER REALITY OF MARRIAGES
We all have some common perspective towards marriages. One of which is that even though marriage is the most beautiful occasion in a person’s life, the beauty in it does not last forever. With the passage of time, things start losing luster and the spark of the bond begins to fade. It will be irrational if we tag this outlook as silly or stupid or if we just do away by saying that this is nothing but spreading negativity. Why so? It is because this is the actuality and we all have observed this in our lives. You may be witnessing it in your own marriage or your friends marriages or probably somewhere in your surroundings. Marriages are not always on a bloom and in most cases, with time the relationship between partners loses out on all its fun and pleasure. To conclude, understanding this means simply recognizing the incompatibility between the romantic ideal and the realities of contemporary life.
Is It Possible to Get Out of the Rut?
Of course it is possible to evolve from a marriage that has lost its essence. No marriage ever on this planet lasted without problems till the end. Every relationship has to sail through its stock of problems in order to sustain. Sometimes the problems can be minor and sometimes it can be dead serious but the good news is that each problem can be solved with the appropriate help rendered to it.
‘There are no dead ends. There is always a way out’
How to Refresh Your Relationship in a Marriage?
Within this article we will take you on a tour that will be a learning experience for you and by the end of your five minutes you will be equipped with spectacular reforms that will guide you towards rekindling your marriage.
‘Communication is the lifeline of a relationship. It decides whether your relationship lives or dies’
This is the strongest tool in the whole wide universe to help you save your marriage. In the beginning of a marriage, couples spend a lot of time expressing their love for each other and dwelling in the romance and passion. The feathers start shedding with the course of time because couples spend the least time communicating with each other. Engage in talks with your partner and be honest. Tell each other about your feelings; all that you want and need; all that you expect and all the things that hurt you. This will help you both in getting insights of what runs in the mind and where things are going wrong.
Hold hands while talking.
Be a good listener.
Share positive feelings
Do not react. Respond.
Once a person asked, ‘What is the most invaluable gift in a relationship?’ The answer that was acclaimed and considered the most solicitous was ‘Time’. Time is the most priceless thing you can ever give to a person in your life. We are on this planet not for eternity but for a short while and therefore, giving time means giving a significant part of your existence. For a relationship to grow and advance, it would require substantial nurturing and to nurture a relationship, couples need to spend time together.
Today, each one of us has busy life, stuck in our own activities and as a result, our relationship takes a back seat. This issue has to be sorted by giving in our time for our relationships to be healthy and alive. Also, post-kids it becomes hard to give enough attention to one another but as we said at the start, there is always a way!
Make spending time with your spouse your top priority
Be planned and schedule time
Give up your excuses
Re-insert lunch dates and night outs
Plan a getaway
‘Appreciation is as important to relationship as much as trust or respect’
It is easy to get bored or irritated of your mate or to simply ignore their calls? But what if those calls or texts never return? Will you be able to live without their company? Life is indeed a series of unpredictable events and therefore, we must not forget the value of a person in our lives. Appreciation is an art and every couple must pander in the charismatic significance of this art in their relationships. Appreciation means letting your partner know what they mean to you and how much you care for them. It is making them feel important. If you do not appreciate your partner’s presence, it means you do not value the relationship.
Don’t take your partner for granted
Be sincerely grateful for what you have
Express your gratitude
Kiss on their forehead and hug them tight
ACTIVE SEX LIFE
‘Sex is a beautiful part of love that helps you bond and connect’
In order to keep the flames burning and for love to embark, it is important to make sex a priority. Having sex frequently will give you both intimate and connecting experiences and a chance to express the love in an ideal manner. Sex is the only thing that makes your relationship unique as you do not share it with anybody else and hence it is unquestionably important. Sex not just means pleasure but also means communication at a much deeper and intense level. It helps you attain a higher level of trust and companionship and makes you free from judgments. Sex helps develop passion and true involvements of closeness and therefore, it is a vital part of a marriage.
Talk and communicate through sex
Don’t distant from intimacy
Try new innovative things
Arouse your partner with special things
Include seduction in your everyday activities
‘Surprises are the fun elements that bring an awesome feeling that someone is making an effort to make you smile’
Now, here is the fun part. To save your marriage from boredom and from getting old, surprises are important. The elements of surprises add textures of amusement and entertainment in your relationship. Before marriage, couples put in extra efforts to plan out surprises on brunch dates or on weekend outings but as soon as they get married, they give up on the idea of surprising their partners. This tendency in couples fosters maybe because they convince themselves that they have eventually achieved the relationship they deserved as now they are ‘married’. They fail to learn that marriage is not the end, it is the beginning and that it designates responsible roles to both the partners to begin the lifelong association. Never settle or compromise with the flicker and spark of your relationship and plan cute surprises for your better half every once in a while.
Plan good humor pranks
Book tickets for events, movies and concerts
Send gifts to office or drop it in the car
Put a love letter or a cute text in the wallet
For a marriage to be happy, couples need to realize that one must first look forward to give ‘in’ to a relationship if they wish to extract something ‘out’ of a relationship. This simply means that couples should principally give in love, intimacy, care, gratitude, time and efforts in order to expect the same in return.
‘The truth is that there is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage’.
Ashwathi is an enthusiastic traveller and dancer with a passion for movies and music. Hailing from an Army background, she considers herself fortunate enough to have experienced the diverse cultures that India boasts of. She is a graduate in Journalism and Mass Communications and has worked in print, radio and television.