A mother’s work is a twenty-four-hour job. It is a very strenuous task. Such demanding is the work that sometimes, it is really difficult to find time for yourself or do anything that you love. This is especially true for most women who feel they have lost their individuality or forgotten what they were once before.
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Rest assured, you are not the only one battling this distressful situation. This is very normal for all mothers. But some may actually find this taking a toll on their lives. Not only is raising a child a tiring affair, to top that, loss of an engagement with yourself can cause tremendous emotional pain, lack of confidence and negativity.
Here are a few ways in which you could deal with this situation quite effectively:
Learn to take charge of your life
Before you had kids or got married, you might have been more bubbly and active. But now, you are either too laid back or finding it difficult to manage everything. Try and work on a scheduled time. Make a list of all your weekly chores. When you have a time schedule, it’s better to mark out your priorities and effectively get things done on time. This way you will be able to deal with all your household workload, managing your child and will also be able to squeeze out time for yourself. When you do things in a haphazard way, you do them in haste, which makes a waste of your time and well as energy. If you are a late riser, wake up early, you will have more time to finish the undone. Only when things happen in a disciplined manner, you draw positivity and develop inner peace.
Master the art of confidence
Yes, I call this an art. Not everyone can develop self-confidence gracefully. Think about all that gets you really crazy. As in things that drain you out. This may be physical attributes, or mental. You might be in dire need of a fitness regime, a skin treatment or maybe therapy to get you back on track. Sit back and jot down what’s your priority now. Break these into goals. Of course, abstain from making unrealistic ones. You could visit a professional who will guide you on what changes you could make in your food habits or things that could help you achieve radiant skin. Looking good is really important for feeling good. If you are overweight and you feel confident in your skin, that’s alright. But shedding a few pounds you gained during pregnancy can make you look younger. Once you feel what you were years back, you will develop a lot of confidence and negate resentment.
Ask for help
Women are great multi-taskers. We can do a lot of things at the same time. Right from looking after kids, to daily activities as well as handling professional life. But there’s no harm in getting help. In fact, having someone assist you in completing your work is a relief on its own. Ask your husband to help you with little things like bathing your child, or maybe tidying the room. Just a little help comes in handy. You could also have a maid or a babysitter if you have a toddler. Of course, check the credentials of whoever you assign. If you happen to have a little older child teach him/her to clean up his/her room or neatly arrange the toys. This is also useful in teaching them how to be organised.
Get in touch with your old pals
There’s nothing like being in the company of your old friends, people who know you and can help you reconnect with all your old memories. They are the best people to get in touch with if you wish to get your old self back. You can always give them a call or connect via social media and make time to meet them at a cafeteria or watch a new movie. And who says married women cannot have night-outs? Of course, they can if they can manage things back home. This is where a loving husband can help you. Also, going offline or staying away from technology will nonetheless prove to be a boon if you wish to make the most of the moment. Recollect whatever was your idea of ‘fun’ previously and you will find yourself in a much happier state.
Chase you dreams
All our wishes are seldom fulfilled. You may have gotten married at a very tender age. Maybe you wanted to work professionally, but couldn’t; maybe you wanted to have your own restaurant, but couldn’t; or maybe you wanted to be a dancer, but time got the better of you! However, it’s never too late to work towards achieving your dreams again. In fact, you might have better resources at your disposal now than before. Look at it this way, you husband may be your greatest support now. Look for the positive in everything. Make yourself available to working towards your long lost dream. Ok, you may not be successful at the first go. But what is the worst you could lose? Nothing! At least it wouldn’t build up to your long list of regrets.
Make the most of technology in this respect. You can build your own network. Put your skills to work. Start your own business and earn at home. With this, not only could you take care of your children and husband but also be an entrepreneur which will give a great boost to your self- esteem.
If you work upon these suggested tips, you can see for yourself all the differences you could bring about. You cannot let go of all things in life just to cater to all your desires. If you learn and adapt to changes along with making the right choices, you can enjoy every moment. It is important for you to be happy. If you are content, you will be able to do more for your family. There will be significant improvements in all your relationships.
Born and brought up in India, Anushree's thoughts have been conditioned by a surrounding diverse in all aspects. She aspires to travel round the world and have a taste of the culture, food and music. Her Masters in Political Science has given her a reality check as to where India stands in enlightening its womenfolk. Writing gives her the freedom to materialize her ideas and allow people to sneak into her mind. She finds it fun and liberating.