Being ghosted is the worst feeling ever. You give in your all to something that shows spark and then the person just vanishes into thin air. You tell yourself that this was destiny or convince yourself with all sorts of excuses to emerge out of the pain that’s so deep. Deep enough to make you feel insulted or even dejected.
He must have shifted to a different continent, suffered from an unfortunate incident or whatever be it, he just didn’t feel like giving you an explanation before he wiped you out of his life. The possibilities of being ghosted are endless and you can never really be convinced of the real reason unless the person decides to come back and gives you an explanation.
In case he does come back, you will have mixed feelings of anger, confusion and other similar emotions which might even be hard for you to admit. After all, if he could ghost you all of a sudden, how could he think that you have been waiting for him without considering your options available?
Here are a few solutions to handle the situation best:
Ask him the real reason:
If the guy who had ghosted you before returns back and acts as if nothing ever happened, you will feel the pressing need to ask and understand the reasons behind all the pain he made you go through. But control all your emotions at that moment and be very calm while handling this. Instead of yelling or abusing him, you could try and understand if there were underlying important reasons. If he can explain himself well and satisfy your queries, it’s alright. Else you better severe all contacts then instead of pulling the conversation and letting confusion build. After all, it’s your right to keep yourself happy the foremost.
Question yourself if you still want him back:
If his explanations are satisfactory, and you haven’t moved on with someone else, you could offer him and chance and see if things work out. However, beware that the possibility of being ghosted will loom large again. Try keeping things very low key in the beginning especially with someone having a history of ghosting you in the past. However, if you are totally disinterested, you could just be upfront and convey things gracefully without getting into nasty arguments.
Make him earn your trust again:
Don’t just buy everything he says just because he came back to you. Make him work for things if he really wants to get it back. Your feelings are precious and if they have been tampered with, he needs to work really hard to prove it to you. This might seem selfish initially as you might continuously feel that having the upper hand in this situation is wrong but you definitely owe this to yourself this time. If you can forgive him and take chances again, that’s completely your call but be equipped to save yourself the heartbreak again!
Don’t hold grudges for long:
These days when relationships happen at the click of a button, expecting sincere commitment from people isn’t too correct. Also, just because someone ghosted you, you are not to be blamed and nor is the ghoster completely. Things just don’t click at times and not everyone is brave enough to own up. However, if you decide on giving him another chance and move on to pursue a relationship, avoid taunting him or continuously bringing up the matter again and again. Either accept him for what he is and what he had done to you or just leave the idea of a relationship completely. So, be clear about your thoughts before you indulge or take chances again.
I have been ghosted before and I know what it brings with itself. Have you been through this? Let us know in the comments below!
Born and brought up in India, Anushree's thoughts have been conditioned by a surrounding diverse in all aspects. She aspires to travel round the world and have a taste of the culture, food and music. Her Masters in Political Science has given her a reality check as to where India stands in enlightening its womenfolk. Writing gives her the freedom to materialize her ideas and allow people to sneak into her mind. She finds it fun and liberating.