Love is when two people touch each other’s soul. Love is understanding and respecting the other person. Love is an emotional bond that connects. Love is honesty and trust. Love is reaching your dreams together. Love is the connection of two hearts. Wait! Is that what love really is? Think again! Have you ever wondered why we fall in love? What is the science behind love?
Love is the nature’s way of keeping you alive. It is a biological chemical reaction released from the brain. There is no mystery, spiritual soul, emotional attachment or higher intervention. Even the heart has no role to play when you are falling in love. It does not depend on your partner being sexy at all! Love is actually blind because the brain is the boss here! You might now know when your brain is perceiving someone as beautiful or ugly. According to psychology, it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you are attracted to someone. Research says that 55% is through body language, 38% is through the tone, frequency and speed of their voice and only 7% is through what they say!
Events occurring in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental illness. The brain of somebody in love looks awfully similar to the one high on drugs. Attraction to someone occurs because of their healthy genes. We want our genes to survive for generations and so subconsciously we are tempted to someone who looks and smells good. This ensures that our children will be healthy and they will pass on our genes to the next generation. Do you get the picture?
Falling for someone does not take place instantaneously. There are three stages of falling in love and each stage has certain chemicals involved in it. Without going into scientific details, let me explain you the stages in an uncomplicated manner.
Stage 1– Lust- The initial stage of falling in love. The stage in which feelings are instigated by sexual hormones. This overmastering and craving leads us to the stage two- attraction.
Stage 2– Attraction- It is the most beautiful phase of life. The phase when you can’t think of nothing else but him. Or her. You start losing appetite, need less sleep and when you bump into your darling, your heart races, you feel giddy, your palms sweat, stomach churns, your mouth turns dry and most of all you feel happy.
Stage 3– Attachment- When the first two stages are successfully completed, you jump to the third stage called attachment. It is when you decide to mate and reproduce. It is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children.
The most exhilarating feeling of all, love is a chemical chain of reaction triggered in our bodies ultimately instigating the feelings of excitement and happiness. It’s not just the three stages. Each of your senses play a crucial role in determining attraction. The eyes are the first components in desirability. Smooth scar free skin and a spotless face are always in demand because they are associated with reproductive health. When our eyes spot something beautiful, our brain orders us to move forward so the other senses can scrutinize. The nose’s contribution to romance is more than sweet smell of perfume or cologne. It is able to pick up natural chemical signals called pheromones. Pheromones are chemical signals that changes an animal’s behavior without the animal being aware of it. They are often involved in sexual behavior. Ears also determine attraction. Men prefer females with high pitched breathy voices modulated with smaller body size while females prefer low pitched voice with narrow spacing and a huge body. Touch is the quickest way to build attraction. The key aspect of focus is touch. This hormone gets released because of contact. That means that a simple touch facilitates all the positive characteristics of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the feel-good hormone that facilitates social bond and trust. The last of our senses, the sense of taste turns out to be important for romance. The first kiss- a rich and complex exchange of tactile and chemical cues, such as the taste of one’s mouth and the smell of one’s breath. This unforgettable moment is so vital that majority of men and women have lost their attraction after a bad first kiss.
So the next time you are attracted to someone, try to think it’s not you or your heart but your brain doing the matchmaking for you!