Addicts do live in a world that shuns intimacy and even sharing of personal space with others. These people become so self- absorbed that it is difficult to accept anyone in their lives. Unless they can stay away from substance abuse you cannot expect a healthy relationship with one. A relationship is just not about one person but rather both the partners. In the period, if one constantly has to deal with an addict, it gets pretty frustrating.
Drug abuse hinders people’s capacity to make judgements. They lack the ability to decide what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for them. All they know is taking care of their needs. In the process, it is often possible for your partner to end up cheating on you.
They fail to understand what emotional intimacy is and often mistakenly believe physical intimacy to be a substitute for it. Hence, you stand at a greater risk of being the loser not matter how much you try and convince him of your love. Since they tend to have indiscriminate sex, it is quite often possible for your partner to carry sexually transmitted infections (STIs). They are also exposed to the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. For a time being, his sex drive might increase but in the long run, he has chances of suffering from erectile dysfunction.
You might find that his words and actions quite confusing. Months of the relationship might have passed but you remain unsure as to whether he loves you. He might have different personalities at different hours of the day. It is quite difficult to understand which is the real ‘he’. Taking care of his unstable mood is not just irritating but also annoying.
Your partner may get abusive not just verbally but also physically. The next morning or after a few hours when the effect of the drug subsides, he might ask for forgiveness and repeatedly tell you that he will not commit the mistake again, but things will remain unchangeable. Sweet talks is his thing and if you give in, he is always able to get you into believing that he will change for the better.
You might find him constantly arguing with you and picking up fights even if you might appear totally calm. It is hard to make him understand your logic and all he believes is he is right and all- knowing.
He might be quite unappreciative. All he points out are your mistakes and shortcomings. Nothing seems to satisfy him and he constantly holds grudges against you.
In case you are already with one, stop blaming yourself for anything that happens. You cannot deal with him without professional help. Also, draw your lines and understand when it’s the best time to leave. It is difficult to carry someone else’s baggage. You are not bound to.
Born and brought up in India, Anushree's thoughts have been conditioned by a surrounding diverse in all aspects. She aspires to travel round the world and have a taste of the culture, food and music. Her Masters in Political Science has given her a reality check as to where India stands in enlightening its womenfolk. Writing gives her the freedom to materialize her ideas and allow people to sneak into her mind. She finds it fun and liberating.