Relationships can get pretty rough with time especially if you get laid back and pit in no effort like you used to before. It takes sincere work from both the people and a lot of devotion towards the relationship that you have if you want to make it last long for over a twenty years. While some people may have your believe that only short term relationships have the potential of crashing, it is also true that often people make it long term just because of compromises with no genuine love for each other.
It may seem surprising especially to the millennials that if a relationship had made it past 20 years or so, what can actually cause breakups? Yes, the initial spark may fade, but will you really want to give up the level of comfort that you share with this person? Well, relationships can get too complicated to have us generalise. While the most annoying couple can complete a lifetime together, at the same time, even the best can see theirs crumble. But here we point put a few common reasons which are the basic causes of breakups among long term relationships:
Lack of sexual intimacy
While you can have all the love in the world for your partner, if you cannot make love on a regular basis, then there is nothing that can keep your relationship together for long. You definitely want to have a healthy sex life when you can explore each other in different ways and whatever that suits your interest. But no matter how you do it, it should be a basic part of your relationship. Couples who don’t have physical intimacy, tend to lack a deeper bond, the cracks of which will show up soon enough if not immediately. Physical touch is healing and show the warmth your partner houses for you. The lack thereof would mean that you lack sexual chemistry and attraction towards each other.
Money is an important determining factor of the stability that your relationship will have. If you have a tendency of being overly dependent on your partner for the smallest of things, then the other person feels burdened with you. Unless the monetary issues are talked over and settled you will always have some problem creeping into the relationship. It feels really annoying when one of you earns nothing and shows no ambitions in life. As equal partners you should be able to contribute equally when staying together or otherwise. A long term relationship should have a settled financial structure where both can be happy without any resentment.
Cheating on each other
Often when people have unsettled issues in the relationship, you start resorting to other means to be happy. This is exhibited best in the form of taking an interest in someone other than your partner. If you cannot stay happy with each other, then for the very same reason you will look for ways to be happy in someone else’s company who makes sure that your happiness is taken care of. You cannot hope to build long tern relationship. But sometimes cheating doesn’t stem from lack of compatibility alone but only because something seems off and you just fall out of love or realise that you may have an interest in someone from your own gender. While this seems pretty complex and some choose to bury that from the fear of being isolated, there are those who finally muster enough courage to get out of the closet.
Lack of adjustment
No two people in a relationship have the same mindset. After all, you are two different people who have their own goals and backgrounds that have shaped your personality. In a long term relationship, you will have to be willing to put your partner ahead of yourself sometimes and think about the relationship. Compromises are necessary because you are a team in the relationship and if you need to have your own way every time, you are bound to clash. You need to adjust to changes that might creep into your lives as individuals that will have a massive effect on the person that you are. If you cannot support your partner during those times, you will never make it long term.
Being kind and compassionate
Having problems in the relationship is not just limited to the most incompatible couple. Relationships can throw challenges at even the best ones. So, whatever be the circumstance, you will always have to give respect to your partner. It may be common for your to raise that pitch but surviving long term will be difficult if you get disrespectful. So, always be compassionate and learn to forgive. In the absence of mutual trust and kindness, your long term relationship is bound to crash. The fact that both you have come this long, you definitely love each other. Be nice to each other regardless of your problems. After all, both of you are individuals first and you need to respect that.