Not everyone has the same pattern of loving their partner. It might be your experience (if you have been with more than one partner) that each one will try and woo you in different ways quite unique to their personality.
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Dr. Gary Chapman’s book on ‘The secret to love that lasts’, has identified five love languages or five different ways in which we can show love for our loved one or interpret our partner’s love for us. This conclusion is a result of his experience of over thirty years in marriage counselling. The pattern in the people he has counselled is quite remarkable and similar with regard to the love languages. Dr. Chapman believes that every person has a love reservoir which is filled with either or all of the five kinds of methods to express their love. He holds that every person is dependent on mostly one or two of these languages and is generally drawn towards people who have a different way of expressing his/her feelings than him/her.
We list the five languages that are mostly common to all individuals.
ENCOURAGING YOUR PARTNER
Some people believe that just saying “I love you” to their partner is reassuring and quite satisfying to them. No other compliment seems as good as this. Not everyone is a huge fan of actions because that requires effort and time. Words can act as healers during the lowest points of either of the partners. In fact, when your partner tells you how much he loves you and states the reasons for the same, you can’t help but feel good instantly. On the flip side, you also need to keep this in mind that harsh words said to your partner can be destructive to the relationship.
SPENDING TIME TOGETHER
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Some people find spending quality time with their partner the best way to express their love. This can be anything from going for movies or a date night or just a simple walk in the evening. They can focus more on their partners then and feel their presence. More than words, these individuals feel being in the moment more loving. What can prove disastrous for these individuals is a postponement of plans continuously by their partners or lack of attention to what they say.
HELPING YOUR PARTNER
For many people, just seeing their partners help them out with everything they do, is bliss. Such individuals feel that they work they do daily is energy draining and a little help and support of their partners makes them feel loved and needed. They do not appreciate breaking promises and lethargy in committing to the promises made. They absolutely detest partners who command them to do certain tasks or make them feel worthless.
SPENDING ON YOUR PARTNER
Many individuals find gifting their partners a greater way of showing their love. Some may brand this as fake or lacking ideals, but this is how they put forward their emotions. However, not all are too particular about price tags. Gifts according to them need not be expensive but just a heartfelt, a humble one is enough. Any dishonesty associated with such gifts can hurt them.
TOUCHING YOUR PARTNER
This not just focuses on the importance of making love to your partner in the bedroom but also non- sexually touching each other. This might be a simple kiss or even a hug or anything that makes the other person feel warm and happy. However, any kind of physical abuse can completely prove destructive to the relationship.
Even though people have a stronger affinity towards a particular language, it is advisable that we understand the value of all the others as well. Mostly, people do enjoy having partners who reflect more than a single love language.