Marriages are supposedly built in heaven. They say that you end up with someone you are meant to last with. The sad part is, these days this has almost become a misnomer. Just a few years can be the actual forever your marriage guarantees. Sometimes, the signals are there almost at the onset that you wedding is doomed to fail. People tend to rush into the idea of marriage being driven by the myths that are never true. Whether a couple is prepared or not, they make rash decisions without weighing in all the consequences.
Just because social media lures you into the extravaganza that weddings these days are associated with, that is no proof that marriage is the ultimate destination your relationship should head towards. What is worth the mentioning here is the fact that marriage is a project. A lifelong project that people should tread more carefully into. This is no surprise that given the number of divorce cases these days, it is but natural for many of us to be terrified of the idea of marriage.
There are few myths about marriage that people fall prey to. In my opinion, it is not just love that cements a relationship but a number of other variables as well. Some of these might be hard for you to believe in but these are tested to be true and you should make it a point to be absolutely sure about a few things before you finally decide on marriage.
Just because you have spent years together, you should get married
It is but obvious to end up being together with the person you have spent the longest time with. However, this is a myth that is perhaps the hardest to give up on. Just because you are in a relationship that doesn’t necessitate marriage. Same way, being together with this person for long doesn’t mandate marriage. What matters is the quality of the time spent and your ability to handle troubles and stand by each other through thick and thin. If these parameters are not taken care of, your marriage will only be a compromise.
Marriage guarantees a happily ever after
Marriage in fact is no guarantee of a bed of roses. Just because you got married, that doesn’t mean your problems will vanish. There are other realisations of life that will strike you just after the honeymoon phase ends. If you have a lazy partner, one who mistreats you, one who had drinking issues, or someone who is uncompromising during fights; you will have a harder time after marriage. What you could overlook at the stage of the relationship, you won’t be able to when you have to share the same space with him. Happiness is solely your state of mind. No one can make you happy unless you choose to be.
Marriage will make you feel less lonelier
Too many people I know still complain of being lonely even after living together with the man they chose to be with. You have to take the responsibility to kill your loneliness. You can be together and have someone to fall back on. But in being realistic about life you have to understand that your man cannot be with you 24/7. You have to choose your way of functioning on your own. Your husband may act distant or keep you away from important decisions of his life. It is far better that you learn to be your own master and keep yourself engaged rather than being dependent on your man for fulfilment.
Once you have kids, you will get closer
Kids are no guarantee of a great marriage. Kids can bring you closer or may not. Of course, if both of you wish to have kids it’s a great decision. But if one of you lacks the maturity to handle another living person in the midst of the troubles in the marriage you might find yourself crumbling to bits. Rather you should decide on having kids only when you are absolutely sure that you could raise them in a respectable way giving them the necessary environment to grow.
Sex takes the lowest place in your priority list
This is an idea that sets in just as the initial stage wanes out. Sex need not get boring. Just because you are married that doesn’t mean sex needs to get monotonous with nothing new to offer. You can give a lot of vitality to the way you have been having it by engaging in newer techniques. It just takes a little interest. Even if you get busy with other activities of life you can always make time for sex and add new elements to it. Married or not, sex requires a certain degree of lift if you want to keep things as amazing as it was when you had it the first time.