DO you feel like you have given your whole life making someone your sole priority when all you have received is nothing from them in return? Love comes with responsibilities. Love comes with having your priorities right in place. It is a two way process and can never be one directional. Sometimes, this feeling tends to be very one sided. Something that is very painful for the other person. This where things crumble in the relationship. This is where start questioning their status in the relationship. This where misunderstandings creep into the relationship.
Relationships are risky
Love is very innocent. It drives even the smartest people crazy. It makes us take wrong decisions. Being loved in return is something we all seek. We feel really stressed out when the person we care about the most makes us feel that we don’t exist. Sharing mutual concerns and love wipes away stress. Loving someone is very risky. It is almost a gamble where we aren’t aware of where we are heading to. There is no guarantee that the intensity of love that you have for someone is mutual. There is no guarantee about the validity of feelings if you analyse long term. Sometimes, even the strongest of relationships fade for no concrete reason whatsoever.
So, if you wish to save yourself all the heartbreak and the stress that comes with relationships, you need to be absolutely sure about the pros and cons. Weigh your situation and understand if you are ready to take the challenges ahead. Take time to understand the other person and then think of commitments.
People have their own priorities
This world is full of self- centred people. They forget or act like it no matter what you do for them. This is part of learning and understanding human behaviour. You can’t always have an answer for why people behave the way they do. But should that stop you from exploring opportunities? Should that mean you close yourself in a room? No! What you should do is be smart and do all that you can to avoid those who don’t feel good to your senses. What I mean here is avoid those who don’t give away good vibes. I am sure you must have been around people whose sheer presence makes you throw up.
A Relationship is a two way process
A relationship demands time. A relationship demands much more selflessness on both sides. It is no child’s play. You are dealing with people’s emotions. So, if someone is not being nice to you, if someone fails to give you due recognition, if someone treats you like a sidekick or a punching bag, you should just let go. Being solely selfless here is no heroic deed but only the path to leading yourself to a dark spot.
You only hurt yourself more
Sometimes it is very difficult to even understand one’s status in the relationship. Your judgements may be clouded because you will be guided by emotions. When you feel neglected in the relationship, you try to convince yourself that your relationship needs from time from your side, that you need to make more efforts. You try to demonise yourself by saying that it must be your fault and that you need to rectify it yourself.
How do you know that you are not a priority?
- You are the only one giving all the time. It is absolutely clear that you don’t get your due share, instead you end up giving more than required.
- None of your expectations are met at the right time. You have been consistently let down by their uncaring behaviour.
- Only when they having nothing to allot their attention to, they come back running to you.
- You feelings are considered trash. They call you over reactive without even trying to resolve your issues when you started communicating initially
- Even when you are with this person, you feel lonely. They being with you or away from you feels just the same.
- You feel like there are others who do not go to that length to do things for this person but they still seem to have more of his attention. They have him whenever they want even if that is at the cost of giving you time.
- When it comes to their needs, they manipulate you. the moment you have helped them out, you seem to be non- existent.
If these are the most common experiences you are having with this person you are in a relationship with, you should just sever all your ties and move ahead in life. There will be people who will care and give you what you deserve. There is no point crying and wasting your time when all your words have gone in vain till date.