Self-respect is the foundation of living with dignity. It allows you to hold your head high and lead your life with least dependence on anyone. This is further needed in relationships as well. If you wish to experience a successful love life, you need to be prepared to make adjustments and compromises at every level. This is a very real fact and there is no two way about it.
If you have been the only one giving away selflessly without getting anything it returns, you are bound to stay unhappy. No matter how hard you try to stay unaffected by this person’s uncaring tendencies, you will not be able to withhold your sadness. When both partners have self-respect and they respect the other mutually, a relationship is bound to be successful. When you understand your worth and respect yourself you tend to be in a better position to understand the other person better.
Does self- respect mean being egoistic?
To be honest, there is a thin line between having self-respect and having an ego. Self-respect is not dependent on another person. It is the respect that you meet out to yourself. However, our ego is dependent on how others perceive you. When people treat you well, it pampers your ego. It just convinces you that you get the respect that you have for yourself. Only when you hold on to your respect, you can ask for people to give you an ego boost. That means, if you have the least bit of respect for yourself, people would care less about your ego. They will crumple it within seconds. This is because deep inside you have still been unable to convince yourself that you are deserving enough of the worth that you expect people to care about.
When do you know you hold no self-respect?
- You are always the one vying for attention. Even if you ask for it you have failed miserably.
- You are always catering to the problems of others without caring much about yours. People around you would be hurt if you don’t do anything for them. You owe complete allegiance to them. You feel like you need to be there for others and you owe them just too much.
- Your partner doesn’t walk that extra mile to help you. He always backs off when he is uncomfortable. He is never a risk taker for your sake.
- Your outlook is often overlooked. Whatever you say is always met with some degree of resistance.
- You give more than you ever get. You are more selfless everywhere.
How to have your self-respect back again?
You need to have faith in yourself to get the self-respect back. Nothing can be achieved in a day. You need to work at what’s stopping you from pitting yourself first. What is it that has made you lose your respect? Jot them down and make sincere efforts to work each point at a time. If learning to respect yourself means you have to let go of those who you once held dear, go ahead. Satisfy yourself first. Only then can you be truly happy. No matter what you do for others it will never be enough.
There are those who will try to crush you down when you decide to speak up for yourself. They wouldn’t want you to finally know what you are worth. All they need is you to be subservient to them. Those who do would make it further clearer to you as to who are your true well wishers. This would help you hold those more closer to you who support you. It is better to have a very few people in your circle and share your best moments with them rather than having a larger group of selfish people.
What would you gain with a renewed self- respect in love?
Unless you have your self-respect in place you will never get your due share in this world. There are people waiting to trample you in every walk of life. The sooner you realise this, the faster you will want to have your position back. Your relationships will get better and everyone around you will start valuing you more. You will see an immediate change in their behaviour when you start believing in yourself first. People who are mentally stronger gain almost everywhere in life. They don’t need to beg for people’s attention. Would you like to lead a life being told everyday that you own so much to people? Don’t you wish to be independent enough to lead your life the way you wish to without having to count on others for your happiness?