A breakup can be pretty disastrous for someone. In fact it may make you question your worth. We are left with questions unanswered that is, without a proper closure. This leaves us wondering about what we did wrong and what could have been done better or if our partner will ever come back to us again. Even when relationships have a mutual ending, memories can kill you knowing the fact that you had to part ways despite all attempts at giving a chance to your relationship to succeed. Despite this, breakups in general are very hard to deal with.
In fact we may like to keep ourselves secluded from the rest of the world knowing that it will be more peaceful than having to deal with awkward questions from our friends and close associates. Either we get to involved with something or sleep the whole day or just refuse to socialise or go out with friends.
If you have known someone who has gone through a breakup regardless of how terrible it must have been, here are a few things that you should be sensitive about and refrain from saying in order to save that person from further resentment and hurt.
“Let it go”
This is a statement probably anyone who has been through a breakup is tired of listening to. It only speaks about your insensitivity and doesn’t reflect your genuine care for the person. Nobody wants to stay glued to something that is killing them from within. Do you think that your statement serves any good person other than making the person feel more helpless about the situation? Just let that person deal with it the way he/ she wants to without bothering him/ her much. It is not easy to let go. Much easier said than done.
“It’s already been too long”
The range of time people take to get over a breakup varies from person to person depending on their levels of sensitivity. If you went through a similar sort of breakup and got over it within a few days or months it doesn’t necessarily means that your friend will also traverse the same path in the same time. As caring and considerate you may be for your friend and want him/ her to get out of the situation as soon as possible, you have to give them the liberty to work things out on their own pace to become the same individual back again. In fact, there are people who change completely and are never the one that you met earlier post breakups.
“Let’s drink tonight”
You might have the idea of alcohol as a solution to all your problems. But you should also be aware that alcohol comes with its own set of risks and may even aggravate the pain that one is going through and not necessarily reduce it. What if your friend does something reckless that you cannot control? Would you be able to forgive yourself for adding further troubles in the life of your friend who has just recently gone through a breakup? Leave the idea of alcohol for the time this person feels better and more decisive of what he or she is doing.
“He was never good enough for you”
When you come up with a statement like this, you only add to this person’s hurt by making him/ her feel like their decision to be with their partner was never good enough. In case your friend was cheated on, he/ she will feel more frustrated and angry. This will only slow down his/ her pace to go about with the breakup blues. Of course, now that some time may have passed your friend might have pondered over what went wrong and why he/ she couldn’t see the visible signs of a possible breakup. Don’t add to be already wretched state. More than you they can evaluate their ex better. So, let this statement go unsaid.
“There are plenty of fishes in the sea”
Not everyone goes through a breakup the smooth way. So, there is no set time when someone can really come out of their shelters. Some take time to blend with the newer changes that come with a breakup. Sudden decisions of hook ups and or getting into a relationship for the sake of it is not really a wise decision. The other person might just be a rebound which is another complex stuff to deal with. Since your friend is already in a shocked state, it is not really the best time to come up with reckless ideas. Just having someone else may not really ease the pain and instead bring up a chain of events that might further complicate the situation your friend is in. Instead be more supportive and let them have their own time in mourning what they have lost.