Does your man point it out to you that you are “overly attached”? Does he wish for some space and asks you to have a life of your own too? It feels great to be in love, to have someone support you, to build you up. It all seems great at the start but with time you realise the problems that plague your relationship. You tend to become overly attached, meaning, you can’t see anything beyond him. He centres your world and whatever he says or does becomes your ultimate plan of action.
Is this the case with you? Then you are overly attached to him and clinging way more than you normally should. What’s good is you don’t need to worry about this. All of us are more or less attached to our partners. When you feel like you are being told directly or indirectly to change the way you deal with your relationship, then you can start acting. What you need to do is restrain yourself in the following ways so as to get the best out your relationship and avoid being overly attached.
Don’t demand for more time
This is something that we normally do when we don’t find the time that we spend fulfilling. This is not something bad. In fact we all want to spend more time with the person we love. What you need to take care is that you don’t become a police in the relationship. The more you try and keep him bound to you, the more likely he is to lie to you just so that you don’t pick faults with his actions. There is no point doing that because that will only add to the complications in your relationship. Focus on the quality because that is more satisfying instead of looking for the quantity.
Get engaged with yourself
You need to focus on yourself whether or not you are in a relationship. If there is something that eats into your self esteem then work it out. What is making you overly attached to your man is your habit of avoiding your priorities and focusing all your energy in controlling him. If you think you want to look better, work on that. If you think you aren’t keeping well, adopt a healthier lifestyle. If you want to chase your long lost passions, then go ahead. Keeping yourself engaged gives a clear signal to your man that he needs you as much as you need him. This balances your relationship.
Communicate only what’s necessary
It is always good to talk less and act more. In fact, talk only when it’s necessary. The more you talk, the chances are you are not being taken seriously. The lesser and crisper you keep your conversation, the more you are to benefit from the communication. If you have noticed him communicating less and you being the most talkative one, then try changing the way you converse. Try and lesser your texts. Gauge his response and in turn respond accordingly. Make him crave to speak with you rather than you chasing him.
Stop expecting way too much
Keep your expectations realistic. Nobody can love you the way you expect them to. Keep yourself grounded and try and be open to whatever that comes your way. Understand that your partner cannot be with you all the time. He has a life of his own too. You shouldn’t act like a damsel in distress waiting to be rescued. If he is busy taking care of other aspects of his life, you shouldn’t mistaken it for his lack of care or want. You should become more independent and have a life of your own. This will keep you occupied. Once you are busy with your own life your expectations will be more practical for your will also want him to be practical about the time you can give to the relationship.
Stop blaming yourself
Being hard on ourselves is probably the easiest thing to do when do aren’t being able to get a practical solution our problems in the relationship. You need to let go. The problem cannot be always you. If you are feeling insecure, may be you have been made to feel that way. If you are constantly in fear of losing him, maybe he is making you feel like that. Overanalysing what you may be doing wrong in the relationship is only self destructive. You kill all your enthusiasm and confidence which in turn does more harm to the relationship. So, The best thing to do here is to have a conversation about the relationship. If your partner admits to have lost his interest in you, then rethink whether you would like to continue being treated that way. Attachment can drive people crazy. It only gets complicated with time. When you feel needy, avoid being obsessed about the issue and instead focus on something more creative and beneficial to your individual self.