Relationships should comprise of equals who give as well as receive equally. Complete equality may be hard to achieve especially where one of them is always ahead in making efforts for the relationship. Now, a little imbalance that is not hurting is fine but if one of the them always ends up giving way too much without receiving anything substantial in return, that is a sign of a majorly unhealthy relationship. Now if you have been looking for ways to pull out of this toxic situation and look after your emotions, you are at the right place to gain a better perspective on how to go about saving yourself.
Giving too much means you have been more attached than the other person. Now forgetting about that in a day is an impossible and impracticable task. Being overly giving can make you look desperate and therefore the most important thing that you could do for yourself in a situation like that is to look after your self-respect and dignity. Yes, love makes you do all the crazy things where you forget giving enough credit to yourself but at the end of the day, your worth should matter or else no one else would ever care. Maintaining some distance at the end of the day can not just save you but the relationship too if the other person still cares enough.
Put on your thinking cap
Emotions can sway you to the point where you lose not just your confidence but also the respect that is meted out to you by other people. Your emotions will always cloud your judgement. Rationally thinking about a situation keeping the person and the attached emotions out of the picture is something that you should do to save yourself. Being emotionally driven gives mixed signals to other people who want the easy way out everywhere. Think about the advice you would give to people who have been suffering like you are. Look at the bigger picture and where your emotions are taking you. Is it a place you would like to see yourself after years? If no, then show him that you won’t really care if he doesn’t.
Find ways to distract yourself
Engage yourself in activities that you love. For some time, this will take you away from the emotional drama. Give your emotions some rest. You have already invested yourself a lot and now just relax by doing something that you have always wanted to engage in like dance, singing, drama, cooking, painting and anything of that sort. A creative bent of mind will help you channelize your thoughts productively. Be in charge of your happiness and stop letting people define how you feel about yourself.
Let him work to get you back
He has been getting things way to easily which is why he pays no attention to your efforts or the sacrifices that you make. You have done enough to go beyond your capacity to please him, make time for him and care about his happiness. If he really does care, he will come back. Make him get the taste of how it feels when you aren’t around. You cannot be a pleaser for your life. Set some standards for yourself so that you send out a strong message to people who are waiting to have access to you with no responsibility whatsoever.
Work on yourself
Sometimes relationships can distract you from your real goal or purpose. Be sure you have that figured out and you work to achieve that as soon as possible. Whether or not this man stays, you have to make yourself capable and better for the good ones who are ready to give their all to you without being a life sucker. Being obsessed about someone can be a waste of time if you have a specific purpose in mind. You cannot be in control of every damn situation that life throws at you. Accept this human limitation that you were born with and focus on that which is workable.
Confide in people who support you
You cannot survive all alone. At your weakest or even at your best, it is your core circle that really cares about you. However, when in relationships, it is very easy to overlook the sacrifices they make for you and give you all to the new person in your life. They will help you reconnect with the real person that faded amongst all the pain and hurt. Go back to them and apologise for leaving them just because you found a replacement to your loneliness. Let them guide you to a better way of looking at life right now and what you should be doing to focus on your happiness.